Ultimate Rush
by Slinky762
Summary: Bella finds herself in a blank room w/2 guys. Oh the horror. So why is she freaking out? They have wings & thats not normal. Now Bella needs to recover her memories & figure out whats going on & why she is in...California? No Oc and Twilight Char Pairings
1. Me and Tidy Whities

A/N This chapter has been re-written for better overall effect. Plz feel free to reread. Also added songs for fun. Thanks!

-Slinky762

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun. All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, faster than my bullet._

_~Pumped up kicks : Foster the people_

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

The sound echoed in my ears as I sat up. Barren walls were all I saw. They would close in around me if I looked at them too long. I peered at the floor hoping to see something I could use to get out of this place. Wherever this place is. I came across a puddle to my right only about an inch deep and a foot wide. The water was murky but doable as a mirror. I looked in hoping for the best.

"Oh no they didn't!" I gasped in surprise.

My long beautiful brown hair had been snipped to about half the length of my neck.

_Oh whoever these people are they are going to get it! I look like a shaved poodle that met a psychotic beaver! _I touched my hair still taking it in when I heard a moan from the other side of the room. I shuddered.

_Please don't be a rapist, please don't be a rapist._

Covering my eyes hoping that would make the image less scary, I slowly peeled my fingers away from my eyes. Before me, in a corner of the stone walled room that I assumed was square, or some shape with corners, was a boy starting to stand up that looked about my age, hmmm I wonder what my age is?

Well he had a dark rich copperish red color of hair and he was sort of tallish. Ok well taller than me. I was lost in thought until he started mumbling. All I heard was Clean, Shower, and Washcloth. I looked around the room to find what I was hoping I wouldn't. Yes, a makeshift shower. Closer to me than I would have liked.

_Dear god is he going to do what I think he is going to do._

As soon as the thought left my head he ripped his shirt off to reveal a mighty fine body if I don't mind saying. I was kind of shocked by his actions (ok and his body) that I forgot to mention to him that I was in the room. He then pulled out a small piece of cloth that I assumed to be his washcloth but it could have been a hanky, I was still in awe that I couldn't focus. Then he began to unzip his pants.

Oh shit. I might want to let him know I'm here now. Or maybe… NO, no I will not willingly let a man strip and take a shower in front of me! Though my resolve is crumbling quickly. I was about to say something when I realized that he was down to his underwear and about to go further.

"Jesus Christ! Will you put your clothes back on!" I practically shouted at him. Oh subtle, very subtle. Stupid.

"Holly shit!" Was his response "Who the hell is over there watching me strip?"

Good lord now I have to come out of hiding. Or I could let him stand there and talk to the corner of the room… Nah. I stood up shakily and hobbled toward him so he could see me better. Though I'm not sure about it now since one would assume dirty jeans, a lab coat and tank top aren't that appealing to men.

"Sorry I kinda meant to tell you I was the-." On the way over, my filthy jeans got snagged on something solid, a root or something maybe (I know right, nice construction team) and I fell over, desperately reaching out to grab something to break my fall. Thankfully I grabbed some cloth in front of me and it sort of slowed my fall. Good thing my reaction time is in check.

Hmm that piece of cloth wasn't attached to the wall very well. Then it hit me. I looked at the cloth in my hands. It was white. And looked like underwear.

Oh crap.. Don't tell me I just did what I think I did.

A voice echoed across the stony room and met our ears. "HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA OH GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT TO HIM AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA, YEA GIRLY YOU JUST DID WHAT YOU THINK YOU DID!"

"Um if you wouldn't mind, can I have my underwear back?" The boy said, obviously annoyed and not the least bit embarrassed. Was he an underwear model before jumping into this cell?

"Uh huh." Was all I could say. I mean what else was there to say? I just de-underweared a total stranger, his manliness was like somewhere above my head and he wasn't even taking it the way a normal human would.

Christ! He must be a robot! Honestly, I had endless theory's. I was kind of beginning to think I was a comic geek. Or had an overactive imagination.

I took his underwear in one hand and kind of twisted my arm behind my back to give it to him. There was no way in hell I was going to look at him and burn holes in my poor virgin eyes. He stepped over to me and took the cloth from my hand and proceeded to put ALL his clothes back on. I would have been ok with just his pants… Great I must be a pervert that preys on young men!

Meanwhile an older guy stepped out of the shadows, still shaking with laughter trying to calm himself. He was taller than Mr. Tidy Whities and had a light blonde sort of hair color. They both had toned bodies. Yup, I'm a pervert.

Ok that is sooo not one of the first things I see in guys! Note to self: stop just looking at guys' hot bodies. Must not give into perverted thoughts.

"Oh so you think we are hot huh? And yes chic, you're a perv." Mr. Blonde Hair and Beautiful said to me.

"How did you know I thought that!"

"Cause I'm not normal, and my mommy says I'm special." He stated and behind him extended a fairly large pair of crow wings.

I blinked and looked him up and down. I walked up to him and circled him a few times. Then I took hold of a feather and pulled.

"Ouch, that hurt! What are you doing back there?"

"SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS THEY ARE REAL!" I shouted and fell over backwards, hitting my head on the concrete. I was out like a light, but I could still hear sounds, a lot of sounds. Rats (Eww), dripping sewage (Eww), and peoples voices. Male to be specific.

"Dear god Jasper what did you do." Mr. Tidy Whities whispered.

"I just showed her my wings, gosh you're asking me that like I assaulted her with a crowbar, which is very hard to do by the way. Not that I would know." The other guy whispered back. I could almost feel Mr. Tidy Whities questioning look at him.

"Jasper she's probably not going to just say, oh you have wings great lets skip under rainbows and ride our magical unicorns to Alaska! No comment on the crowbar part."

"Gosh sorry Edward, but can we keep her? I wanna name her Rosie. Can we Edward? Please! She looks like a barbie doll, aside from her head. You know it kind of looks like she was run over by a lawn mower."

SMACK

" Fine be that way." The other guy, Jasper I assume, whined.

I opened my eyelids a little and peered at the guys. The one I think is called Edward was bent over me looking intently at my neck or something around it. And the other, Jasper, was pacing the room at a speed I imagine only Flash could stand to go.

Now that I got a closer look at him this Edward character had a nice complexion. And his eyelashes are so long. And his cheeks are so…

" Hahahahhhahaha dude she's checking you out." Jasper giggled like a schoolgirl.

"I was not!" I jumped up and glared at Jasper sending him mental daggers with a long stream of cursing, which I know he got by the look on his face and the fact he started laughing like a hyena on crack. Man I was getting worked up.

God, you are the most loud, annoying, sad excuse for a man, and… why are my feet off the ground.

I looked at my feet noticing how they were a foot off the ground. And the look on Edward's face was telling me what ever it was; him or his annoying friend weren't doing it. Edward's eyes were the size of golf balls and I was sure I could fit a Carnival cruise ship in his mouth.

"Ok whats happening now." I said hands on hips.

"Well… " Edward pondered.

"Your one of us." Jasper said happily smiling at me.

"And that would be…." I ventured.

"Well why don't you look yourself." Edward stated clearly and calmly.

Oh dear god what is it. I hope it's not a radioactive spider or a ghost or worse. Chuck Norris.

I turned my head ever so slowly. And saw a feather. No like a bunch of feathers. Something you might see if your pillow barfed and then decided to line his barf-feathers up. And I realized I had wings.

Oh Hahahahah wings well Haha that's nice I have wings now lets go skip under rainbows and ride our unicorns to Alaska. He he uhhh.

And for the second time today I fainted. I blacked out and there was no way I was going to wake up soon. But before I completely blacked out I felt arms wrap around me and save me from the floor.

"Interesting chick, huh Edward."

Edward picked up the dog tag that was on a slim silver chain around my neck, still using one arm to hold me off the ground.

"Experiment B-52E-6L-2L-4A-78. Well Bella, welcome to California's Academy of Science."

Wings? Experiments? Edward? Jasper? Birds? Underwear? Science? Whats happening to me!


	2. Intros and Ass kicking lessons

_A/N This Chapter has also been edited for your viewing pleasure!_

_-Slinky762_

_Its in the eyes of the children, as they leave for the very first time_

_And its in the heart of the soldier as he takes a bullet on the front line_

_Its in the face of the mother as she takes the force of the blow_

_And its in the hands of the father yeah as he works his fingers to the bone/ _

_This is why we do it this is worth the pain_

_This is why we bow down and get back up agian_

_This is where the heart lies, this is from above_

_Love this is, This is Love_

_~This is Love : The Script_

* * *

_Oh god that hurt. Oh ha ha I got my memories back! _A whirlwind of memories flashed through my brain. A survey on the computer, strange men at my door, and a needle the size of a small dog. Explains a lot.

_Haha ah Wait… why is it so dark in here? I could have sworn it was daylight when I fainted…?_

I used my elbows to prop myself up off the floor and examine the darkness around me. I could hear the faint breathing of someone in the room. It sounded like raspy breathing, you know like you would here if an asthmatic person tried to run a marathon, and they didn't have an inhaler. It got annoying after a while so, as any civilized person would do I got up and felt around in the darkness for something to beat it with. You know just in case they decided to lock me in a place with a human-bird eating experiment. What? It could happen.

_Hmm I wonder what it would look like. Mutated balls of slime or something fierce like that. Oh or maybe… wait focus, umm whats my name again? Oh yea the dog tag around my neck says it._ As I felt around the room with one hand I used the other to feel on the dog tag to see if I could make out the name. My hand on the wall came across a torch like you would find in your every day Egyptian crypt.

YES! A torch! Now just to find a way to light it. Hmm fire, fire, fire what could I use? Come on think! Fir…

"OUCH OMG!" I shouted as the torch burst into flame up out of nowhere, burning a bit of my hand in the process.

"WHAT IS IT, WHATS WRONG BELLA?" I heard Edward shout as the flame subsided to a normal size.

"Wuht? WHATS WRONG WITH BELLA!" I heard another voice say, and saw a large object quickly unfold in front of me.

"EEEEKKKK!" I screamed and used the torch to beat said object.

"WAIT. OUCH! BELLA…OUCH…BELLA IT'S ME JASPER! I WAS JUST UNFOLDING MY WINGS!" The object shouted at me.

_Jasper? Oops, my bad. And my name was Bella huh? Wow the closest I got from the dog tag was Edgar._ I quickly stopped beating Jasper and leaned down to get a good look at him with the torch. He seemed fine, just a few bruises on his face and total shock.

Oops his wings on fire, I'm just gonna put that out… there. I smiled happily at my work. Man if a person tried to attack me I would go all spider monkey on their ass.

"Wait. Jasper you can read minds right? That's how you knew what I was thinking. So how come you didn't read my mind to know what was wrong? I might not have attacked you if you did." I tried to sound completely reasonable after my little beating-Jasper-with-a-stick fiasco. I felt kind of stupid now, so I had to come up with something smart. I couldn't have them thinking I'm stupid now could we?

"What you expect me to read minds in my sleep? No way, there is like a 50% chance that at least 2 people in this building are having a wet dream that I don't want to be a part of thank you very much." Jasper said as he stood and brushed off his jeans and t-shirt.

"Ok that's something to keep to your self Jasper, no need to share. Now, while we are all awake and here, why don't we look for a way to escape. I mean we have another brain to work with here." Edward interrupted Jasper before he could explain the wet dreams. Do scientists really not get that much action?

"Cool sounds fun I- wait escape?" I whispered. Goody this day just can't get any worse. " Escape? Please tell me we're not in hostile territory." I prayed crossing my fingers.

"Sorry to inform you, but yes. We're all trapped here with I don't know how many other experiments." Jasper said picking up a stick and drawing a diagram of the lab.

"How did you know what this place looked like?" I gasped in awe. They must have slipped up blindfolding him or something.

"Guards. I read their minds, I mean someone has to know their way around this place." Jasper said off handedly finishing his map.

"Someone please tell me what's going on here!" I muttered slamming my head into my hands.

"Well since about a year ago these crazy scientists have been trying to create half human and half animal creatures." Edward said calmly patting my shoulder.

"They did it to ensure that if everyone were given extra attributes, say flying, the human population would be able to avoid the world ending and achieve a longer life span. The man who came up with this concept went to D.C. with his idea. But the government denied his idea. That made him mad and he still continued his experimenting, as you can see, and evidentially we are the last experiments he did and he finally found what he was looking for." He stopped and looked at me.

"What, that's it? How do you know all this?" I was amazed that, that was all they knew. Really if your gonna do something to escape, do it right.

" Esme, she was our nurse, if you want to call her that, she would come in and make sure we ate properly and all that stuff." Jasper sighed looking back over his map.

"Something happened to her, right?" I said using my words carefully.

"Bite me." Jasper stuck his tongue out at me.

So I took his arm and bit it.

"OUCH! She bit me! Bad Rosie bad!" He scolded me.

"What? Rosie? What the hell are you on about?"

"Alright, alright chill guys, and Jasper, drop the arm." Edward said eyeing Jasper as he was about to gnaw off my arm. " Yes Bella something happened to her. But on a happier note what do you say we introduce ourselves, I mean obviously we're going to be stuck together for a while, might as well learn to like each other." He shot Jasper a look.

"Fine I'll start." Jasper grumbled. "Me and Edward are brothers, we were born in Hollister California, and we both worked here before our good friend who decided we were better off as pigeons. Any questions? No? Well the quiz is on Monday."

"Good friend? Who is th-" Just as I was about to get more out of them, the door swung open revealing two very big men who have not heard of nor know the definition of the words "Self Hygiene". They stomped in the room looking grim and tired. They were both around 5'5 and were wearing white wife beaters and cargo pants with all the pockets stuffed full with bullet cartridges. Scary.

Before I said something stupid, one of them turned to Edward and the other to Jasper and each used a hand gun to whack them over their heads, immediately knocking them out. (Wow I wonder where he pulled that from?)Then they each took hold of one of my arms and drug me out of the cell.

I kicked and fought but to no avail, they were made of pure muscle or something, so it as like I was fighting a brick wall. Exhausted and feeling defeated I surveyed my surroundings. The hall was unnaturally bare. I mean has anyone in this place heard of interior decorating? The only things on the walls were windows, and out them you could see the beach.

_Ah so we are close to the waters edge. Well not surprising, I mean California is mostly coast line._

They drug me past several windows all displaying some type of beach scene, down winding halls to a large, beige door labeled: "Physical Training Room". Which would terrify anyone my size and build. They threw open the door and yanked me inside, throwing me on the floor. My head spun and my knees hurt from the impact of the floor. I stood up shakily and looked around. There were weights and equipment of every shape and size filling up the whole room, one door which was now guarded by Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.

"Well I have been waiting to test your abilities Experiment B-52E-6L-2L-4A-78. You look very promising. Ok first your martial art skills." A mysterious man just finishing up on his bench press stood and gave me a once over.

Oh man, oh man this is not gonna end well. The only martial arts I have come into contact with was once when I was 7 and I tried to karate kick my older brother after watching The Karate Kid. And guess what? I ended up missing him, kicking the coffee table and falling backwards and landing in the old fish tank my dad set on the floor after changing out the old one. Case closed.

I was about to speak up and protest against this crime against clumsy people everywhere but I was too late. The door was opening again and more guards were coming back with another experiment. Just as they did me, they dropped him on the floor and left. Surprisingly this guy looked about one or two years older than me.

He had dark black hair like midnight and even kneeling on the ground looked significantly larger than me. With a grunt he pushed up off the floor and got up looking first at the bench press man, flipped him off, then stared at me straight in the eyes. Hatred of the deepest kind still lingered in his gaze. He walked or more like sauntered towards me and looked me up and down. Why yes my muddy kicks do match my eyes thanks. I looked at him puzzled.

"Hello there. The names Jacob." He said to me with what I can imagine as a wolfish grin.

"Um hum." The bench press guy who addressed me before cleared his throat as he slipped a lab coat on.

"Ok fine you uptight bastard. My names Experiment J23-A991-CO9-B97." I took his hand and shook it. It was really warm, like his body was on fire or something. Whatever it was I didn't want to let go, the room wasn't exactly warm and inviting and my brain was yelling for warmth.

"My names Bell- oh wait I mean Experiment B-52E-6L-2L-4A-78." I said resisting the urge to jump him and get acquainted with his chest.

"Well now Bella I think we want to start fighting before you know who blows his cap." Jacob said.

And with that he walked to the other side of the room. Addressing the man in the coat as he walked by him. Seconds later all the equipment in the room suddenly sunk under the floor with a door closing over them. Then grass started growing on the floor at a rapid pace until the whole room was just a giant meadow.

I was dumbfounded by this feat. I mean come on have you ever seen grass on steroids grow over your floor, with flowers and everything? I think not. It was so peaceful, well until I heard something like a sword being taken out of its sheath. I looked towards the sound only to be greeted by Jacob standing on the wall of all places with three, one-foot blades on each hand.

"WHAT, IS THIS THE X-MEN OR SOMETHING?" I shouted across the room.

"No my dear, he has simply been given the genes of a wolf and those are the powers the genes have decided to give him. Remarkable isn't it?" He said as he marveled at Jacob's long wolf-like claws.

"Oh wow. Ok that's nice now what do you want him to do with those things?" I was hoping it had nothing to do with ripping me to shreds.

"Why rip you to shreds my dear what else?" He stated like it was obvious.

"Ok just making sure." I kind of figured that was going to happen. I mean what else right?

Dammit. Without warning Jacob rushed at me and my reflexes took over, as soon as he got close my legs propelled me into the air and I preformed a elegant back flip and landed on a beam that was supporting the ceiling. I stood there too stunned at what I had just done to move.

Wow. I defiantly didn't see that coming. God that would have been so useful in 7th grade when Paul Chapsky tried to kiss me and I ended up kicking him in the nuts and having to serve an hour detention. Story of my life. That kid would seriously stalk me.

I then decided to look down realizing that I was now about 20 ft off the ground. I don't like heights. Sad I know but its true, so I froze. Then I heard someone climbing up the beam. Just as I was dreading Jacob's head popped up from around the beam.

"Come on Bells, let's get you down from here." He whispered as he grabbed me.

I didn't fight it when Jacob put his arms around me and lifted me up. Even though I knew we we're supposed to be fighting. Something about him just made me feel safe. Though I have to admit it was a weird feeling walking down the wall. As soon as we got to the ground I got down on my knees and kissed the ground. After a few more tests I was informed that it was noon and sent back to my cell to eat. Edward and Jasper where happy to see I was unharmed and told me that they had a plan to gather more information.

"Do we really want to know more?" I whined like a 5 year old.

"Of course, so there is a vent on the wall opposite of the door that leads to Dr. Grant's Dining hall." Edward explained between bites of his (not kidding) bread and sunflower seed lunch. Jasper and I had the same.

"Who's Dr. Grant?" Seriously, they hadn't mentioned any Dr. Grant before.

"Didn't we tell you? That was the man in the lab coat you saw, he is the brains of all this." Jasper said spraying seeds everywhere.

"Oh man, if I knew that earlier I would have punched him one in the face when I had the chance." And I started pouting at the fact I didn't get the chance to give him a piece of my mind, the part that he hasn't analyzed yet.

"Well all the violence aside, the vent is too small for me and Jasper to fit through so that means…

Cough

Cough

Damn, why me? This vent is so stuffy. And there are cockroaches having bible study right there! Ewww. I continued my crummy crawl through the vent to come across various groups of bible studying cockroaches, even one in a wheelchair that glared at me when I was grumbling to myself about Edward.

Finally, after much squealing and cockroach squishing, I made it to the end of the vent, and thankfully fresh air. I peeked out to see Dr. Grant sitting at a glass table with his 5 star lunch in front of him in a room as white as the rest of this place. There were a few potted plants, obviously dying, and very little furniture.

Dr. Grant was eating a steak and talking to a man across the table. I couldn't make out the other man's features from where I was but I could tell he was really eager to hear whatever the Dr had to say.

"Well now Winston I have prepared something for our revenge on the people who shunned our ideas." Dr. Grant announced proudly.

"Oh well they will regret the day they shunned us. Please tell me what it is that we are going to do to the government? Sabotage? Espionage? Economic Collapse?" Winston asked eagerly like a little kid waiting for his birthday present.

"Oh so much worse. I have created bombs that explode in the air. They will release toxins that have been infused into the "experiments", and whatever animal the person has last had contact with is what they will slowly and painfully gain attributes from. Unlike our friends in the cells, those who inhale the bombs toxins will painfully grow lets say a pair of wings out of their own body instead of just popping out of nowhere. The whole world will suffer for shunning me but better yet everyone will have the power I know they all want. I will be honored like a god." Dr. Grant grinned evilly showing his inhumanly sharp teeth, all sharp and pointed like those of a tiger but sharper and slimmer. Like they were meant for murder. Winston gasped and looked appalled at the idea.

"That is far too harsh and uncalled for. Why must we do that? The whole world doesn't need to suffer. There must be a less painful way." Winston pleaded with him like his life depended on convincing the Dr not to do this. Dr. Grants face fell. Kind of like the look your parents would give you if you brought home three Fs on your report card, which I kind of know from experience.

"I see that you are no longer in support of my ideas Winston, and since you don't agree with me, I no longer have a use for you." The Dr said wiping his hands and mouth with a napkin.

"No please!" Winston pleaded.

"Goodbye."

And as soon as the word left his lips five shots rang out and all hit Winston at the same time with inhuman accuracy and precision. Dr. Grant then stood up and pushed his chair in, walking around the table to Winston's limp body bleeding all over the white floor. The scene was revolting and closely resembled red paint splattered on a white canvas.

"Hmm I guess some final words are in order. Lets see. You were the saddest excuse for a son I ever had. Oh and it seems I lost my appetite. Pity." And he walked out of the room without looking back. I sat in the vent holding back tears.

I couldn't stay there much longer. I crawled back to our cell not even caring about the bible-studying cockroaches that looked at me with concerned buggy eyes. Once I got back to the room I stepped out of the vent and turned towards Edward and Jasper, collapsing into their arms crying.

I cried for Winston for having such a father, I cried for my parents not knowing where I was, and most of all I cried for myself, Edward, Jasper and even Jacob for having been given these horrible attributes by that monster.


	3. Snortin in tha Mornin

A/N This chapter has been edited as well :P ENJOY!

_We've been stuck now, so long Just got the start wrong _

_One more last try I'm gunna get the ending right _

_You cant stop this and I must insist that you _

_Haven't had enough, You haven't had enough _

_Mariana's Trench: Haven't Had Enough_

I could hear the faint chirping of birds in the room like they were right next to my ear whispering secrets to me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was just Edward whistling a soft tune. He had my head in his lap and was stroking my hair, looking at me with concerned eyes. Well I don't blame him. I just broke down like a heart broken teenager and flung myself at him. Ok and Jasper, he was there too.

"Morning sleepy head." He smiled at me.

"Dear God Edward! Don't go getting sappy on me! I can read your mind! Remember that? Gosh think those things quieter please!" Jasper yelled from across the room. Not a morning person is he?

"Well guys I don't know what to say, umm us all in a room with free thoughts is not going to end well." I stated, clearly, the obvious. Then I heard footsteps. Loud footsteps. Heavy material boots, like the ones of the guards who man handled me. I motioned for Edward to resume a sleeping position and for Jasper to keep quiet.

The footsteps finally made it to the door after about 10 mins (Cool super hearing!). Then the door flung open and four guards stomped in with an unconscious person, each guard had an arm or leg. It was a guy with dark hair and a strong build. He looked very familiar to me. Three guards stood silent as one addressed us.

"Ok you dumb pigeons, you have a new cell mate. Play nice." The guard sneered.

Then they dropped the guy on the floor and left laughing to themselves. Me, apparently being the only person with a heart in the room, jumped up to go check on the guy to make sure he was ok. I tiptoed over to him and grabbed a muscled shoulder and flipped him on his back, with much struggling I have to admit.

His face was peaceful looking and his skin was tanned to a perfect brown. Then I realized I met this guy before. No wonder he looked familiar. It was the guy from the training room! I don't know what it was but I wanted to reach out and touch him. Surely not warmth this time, it was like a sauna in our cell.

To at least make sure he was alive, I pressed my head to his chest. Surprisingly it was warm. No like really, really warm. I would have guessed it was something like 108.9 degrees. I started to pull my head away when strong arms grabbed me and pushed me back down to his chest. I could hear his heart beat distinctively as my face lit up red and I froze in surprise.

Thud

Thud

Thud

SNORT

I paused. _Snort? Where the hell did that come from?_

The snort snapped me out of my thoughts and brought me back to my situation here. The guy, Jacob was it, was deeply asleep apparently. I tried to shove myself away from him but his grip was too strong. I looked around the room helplessly hoping that I could find something to help me out. Nothing turned up. Not even a rock. I tried again and finally got myself free. I rolled over, spy mode and army crawled over to Edward. When I got to him I stopped right next to his body and heard another snort.

I looked at his face for a few minutes and found him making the funniest face in the whole world and then snorted again. Well I found the source. I sat there quietly and waited for him to do it again. But he didn't. Instead he breathed in roughly and rolled over on top of me. I was lying on the ground face down and he was lying on his back on top of me. I could barely breathe much less get the words "Get the freak off me" out of my mouth.

_Great Bella. You thought lying on some strangers chest was bad, well look at you now. What am I going to do? Oh yea, Jasper! Hey Jasper! Psst! JASPER!_ I continued mind-shouting his name until he stirred and looked my way.

"Shhh Bella I'm sleeping over here." He mumbled aimlessly in my direction.

I would love to let you sleep, but if I do Sir Sleeps So Hard As Stone will crush my ribs by the time you wake up! So IF you wouldn't mind. HELP ME! He looked confused for a second and I could see it processing in his head. Are men always this slow in the morning?

"Oh shit. Sorry Bella." Jasper said sleepily as he moved Edward off my crushed body. Then he did the most gentlemanly thing in the world. He went back to sleep.

"Oh Bella are you ok? Oh I'm fine Jasper I was just being crushed by a sleeping sand bag but I'm ok. Oh good Bella you had me worried. Oh thank you so much Jasper." I recited to myself. Chivalry, you know how people say its still alive? Nope they're wrong. It's dead. I stood up as I brushed myself off and looked around the room again. Everyone was sleeping but me.

Everyone was ok with the idea of abandoning escaping but me. Everyone was a guy but me. I'm surprised I haven't been jumped yet. Sighing I tried to lean against the wall to steady myself and make sure all my ribs were intact.

As soon as I put a little bit of my weight against the wall a few stones slipped out of place and fell out on the other side. Shocked I looked out the space I had just created in the wall.

I began pushing some more bricks aside, and sure enough, created a large hole in the wall. And to my surprise the bricks all had just slipped away from each other with only the slightest resistance. I clasped my hands to my head and screamed in my head.

OMG WHY THE… HOW THA… I CANT BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT! HOW COME I DIDN'T DO THAT BEFORE! I AM SUCH A LOSER! NO EDWARD AND JASPER ARE LOSERS! YOU SUCK, YOU SUCK, AND YOU SUCK! MUFFINS!

Jasper jumped up in shock holding his ears in surprise, twisting his face in shock. He gave me daggers and flipped me off. Point for Jasper. I stuck my tongue out at him and then pointed to the hole in the wall in triumph. His jaw went slack and he used the heel of his palm to hit himself in the head, repeating the action until he looked satisfied and walked over to me. Point for me.

"How did you do this?" He whispered to me.

"I just leaned on it and the brick slipped out of place." I whispered back. He looked like he was about to smack himself in the head again, but restrained himself.

"Well then, what the hell are we waiting for?" He shouted and stumbled around over to Edward and shook him like a rag doll until he woke up. "Bella found a way out lets get a move on!" With those simple words said he jumped up and made a B line for the hole in the wall. We were about to escape finally and my only thought was that we couldn't just leave Jacob here. I mean it wasn't big or anything but he helped me and I couldn't just leave him in this dreadful place.

"Jasper wait. Can't we take him with us." I said motioning to Jacob's sleeping figure on the floor.

"I don't think so Bella, we don't know him and for some strange reason he smells like wet dog." Jasper said wrinkling his nose at Jacob.

"Please?" I said making very convincing puppy dog eyes at him.

"No." He responded bluntly.

"I know what you did last summer." I said ominously.

"No." He said unconvinced.

"Yes." I responded evilly.

"What's the hold up guys?" Edward yelled from outside.

"Fine, but if Edward gets mad, this is your fault." He mumbled quickly, sliding Jacob through the hole and following after. Another point for me. I squirmed my way out and on to the sandy beach outside.

"Oh no we're not bringing him Jasper." Edward growled and pointed back to the cell. "Put it back!"

"I can't Edward, she knows what I did last summer." Jasper said whimpering and giving Edward the puppy dog eyes.

"What- she- I- fine." Edward sighed giving in.

It was getting dark and fast. We looked around us making sure no one was watching. The sirens Edward said that were around weren't going off, so we were safe, for now. We ran and ducked behind dumpsters and cages for experiments. We were doing great until a little sparrow that had landed in front of us ever so close to a trip laser stopped us. We all held our breath as Edward tried to shoo it away.

"Go away annoying little birdie. Shoo. Beat it. Scram. GRRRR. Damn nothings working." He turned to Jasper and I for help. "Hey Jas maybe you should show it a picture of your ex girlfriend." He joked. Two more sparrows came.

"Oh yea, show them a picture of your mom!" Jasper yelled.

"That would be your mom too!" Edward countered.

Five more sparrows came. None tripped the laser beam yet, but even more were gathering.

"Stop guys stop!" I said getting a little worked up myself. As soon as I said those words a falcon came and started circling the group of sparrows. He arched his head forward and folded his wings in. He was going to dive in on the sparrows. And better yet he was aiming for one close to the laser beam. "GUYS!" I yelled again and the falcon dove. "Oh shit."

WEOOOOWEOOO ROOOOOROOOO

The alarm sounded and rang loudly in our ears. We all covered them in pain and ran out the gate right in the front of the building. As we got farther away the sound got softer and we slowed to a mild jog. I heard a gasp and a girly scream come from behind me. I turned and saw Jacob fully awake and on the ground pointing at Jasper.

"Why the heck was I on your back!" He yelled in surprise.

"That would be my fault, I thought we should bring you instead of leaving you there." I confessed in a small voice.

"Really that's-…" Jacob stopped mid sentence and looked into the distance." I hear something coming." He said calmly, the fear rising in his voice.

"Oh no." Jasper said.

"They cant." Edward added.

"She's coming for us guys." Jacob finished

"Who?" I asked getting scared and looking into the darkness trying to see the thing coming for us. Something jumped overhead, doing a graceful flip over all of us and landing on the ground, jiggling like a bowl of freefalling jello.

"Bertha." They all said in unison.


	4. All or Streaking

A/N Edited! Makes more since now huh?

-Slinky762

_Cuz I love her with all that I am, and my voice shakes along with my hands_

_Cuz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea, but I'd rather be here than on land _

_Yea, she's all that i see and she's all that I need_

_And I'm out of my league once agian_

_Stephen Speaks: Out of My League _

* * *

I looked at Bertha standing a whopping 5 feet 1 in front of us. She was short and stout, and how she moved like a ballerina, blew my mind into little surprised chunks. She was dressed in all black and wearing, what looked like a ninja mask over her mouth. She had so many folds she looked like a folded up quilt.

All the guys stumbled backwards so fast they were tripping over each other. I just stood there, jaw slack, and wondering what was so scary about Bertha the giant water balloon. Then she took a jiggly step forward and took out a disk about the size of my head. I took several steps backward and caught up with the guys.

"What's so scary about her?" I asked in disbelief that this is what they were cowering in fear of.

As soon as the words left my lips she took the disk and threw it in our direction. I dove to the ground and the guys scattered, but the tree behind us didn't fare to well. The 15-foot palm tree was immediately sliced in half and the disk hadn't even touched it. My eyes grew wide in horror as the tree fell over and landed inches from Edward's head as he lay on the ground. Jasper jumped up and took off down the beach at an astonishing speed. Bertha got a twinkle in her eye and bounded off after him jiggling all the way.

Jacob was the first to move. He got up and brushed the sand off his low-rise jeans, and looked out to where Jasper was surely still running for his life. He squinted a little and smirked.

"She's still hot on his tail." He managed before laughing so hard he cried.

"I don't get it. What's so funny?" I asked, still clueless about the inside joke that was obvious to everyone but me.

"Bertha is Jasper's ex-girlfriend." Edward said giggling a little.

I started laughing so hard I fell to my knees and cried. I laughed like that for 5 minutes straight before I calmed myself and stood up.

"He dated _her_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yea that was before she got infused with whale DNA." Edward said shielding his eyes from the now setting sun.

"Poor bastard." Jacob sighed.

"Do we wait for Jasper, or do we continue walking?" I said fairly certain the main character in an adventure novel would say.

"You're right Bella we can't stay here, but we can't leave Jasper with her." Jacob said looking grim.

"Why not? Aside from the disk I'd say she's harmless. I mean did you see the way she bounded off after him like a love sick puppy." I asked puzzled and wanting answers.

"Bertha is what we would refer to as the person who does the "dirty work" around the institute. Sometimes, like you saw with Grant's son, the guards take out unwanted personnel. Most of the time its her job." Edward said glaring in the direction Jasper and Bertha made their exit.

"How do you know, maybe it's not true. I mean she doesn't look threatening." I laughed remembering the way she jiggled after Jasper.

"Because I saw her execute Esme right there in our cell. Right in front of me. You tell me that was a rumor." Edward said looking cooler than when he was rolled on top of me making my ribs cave in. And a bit scarier. "Lets go." He said walking off in the opposite direction Jasper and Bertha went.

"But what about Jasper?" I gasped at the thought of him leaving his own brother behind. I know he was annoying, but I got attached to him. A little, you know like an annoying pet you can't help but love and on occasion call stupid affectionately.

"Don't worry he'll be fine, he can read my mind so he knows where we're going." Edward said icily.

So with that we made our way down the beach and over to a group of trees in the distance. After we made it to the trees we walked deeper and deeper into the forest. By the time we reached the cave Edward mentioned I had fallen 5 times, Jacob unearthed 4 bear traps and Jacob and I sang 3 camping songs.

By the look of the bear traps, this place wasn't exactly my definition of safe. Though it was better than a cell in a lab of a madman. Edward acknowledged that it was getting dark and informed Jacob and I he was going to go into the woods and collect firewood. 15 minutes passed and he still didn't come back. That must be one hell of a piece of firewood. Jacob looked over at me and grinned.

"I think we should play a game Bella, since its kind of boring waiting for him to get back." Jacob said reaching into his pant pocket and pulled out a deck of cards.

"Where did you get those? Didn't the guards take everything off you?" I questioned him, wondering what good answer he had for this one.

"I pick pocketed the guard who took them from me when they were dragging me to your cell," He said with a grin,"So Bella what card game do you know how to play?"

I paused and thought about this for a second and my face turned crimson when I came to a conclusion. I only knew how to play one game using cards, and it wasn't good. Don't look at me like that ok, I was a computer and cell phone child when I got old enough to use electronics. And the only card game I ever played was at one of my mom's lady parties she held every month at our house. Yes that's right readers. Strip Poker. I looked down at the floor and blushed. Hoping Jacob wouldn't ask, but sadly he caught on.

"What? You don't know how to play cards? That's not good cause neither do I. Um only one game though…" He said with a pause.

"Strip Poker." We both said at the same time. I sat wide eyed with my mouth open.

"Well we don't have to play if you don't want to. You know if your too worried that your gonna lose, I understand." Jacob said coyly.

_That's it. Bella Swan does not back down from a challenge!_ I was pumped and ready and I'm not even sure he was challenging me or not, but I wanted to beat him and show him I was not about to lose.

"You're on." I said confidently looking at the deck of cards waiting for him to deal. He finally did so and the game began.

* * *

"Oh Edward, watch out for that-"

Smack

"-tree limb."

Edward lay face down on the ground holding his face. Jasper leaned down with the glow of his newly reclaimed cell phone looking over at him quietly wincing to him self at the now apparent black eye Edward had going on.

Edward had finally found Jasper and lo and behold Bertha had a copy of the documents explaining Dr. Grant's plan for human kind. Male mentality thinking: They had been the only ones to escape the Dr.'s grasp and have the opportunity to stop him, so why not right?

Edward continued to lie on the ground holding his face while Jasper read over the documents by cell phone light. It was all there and now they needed a plan.

"Come on Edward, get up. We need to get back and discuss this with Bella and Jacob." Jasper whispered into the darkness in front of him. Edward made no move to get up. So Jasper invaded Edward's mind to see what he was thinking about.

I hope Jacob hasn't done anything to Bella. I really like her, and no wet dog smelling science experiment is going to take that away.

"Well, well what are we thinking here, hmm?" Jasper purred snapping Edward out of his thoughts. He sat up and pointed an accusatory finger at Jasper.

"You stay out of my thoughts." He said sighing and getting up. "We better go."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

* * *

This game was getting steamy, though the cold night air kept me cool and tamed by blush. I had done it now. I challenged a man to a game we were both equally good at. I looked up to meet Jacob's eyes staring at me over the top of his cards. We were both not wearing much. I was down to my undies and bra while Jacob was in his boxers.

You could see the perfect creases of his abs as he sat on the ground shielding his cards from sight. The cave was pretty crammed with the both of us sitting face to face in front of each other. Since it got dark and pretty windy we had moved into the cave for some wind block but now that I think about it, outside would have been better. I could feel the heat radiating off him in front of me and his knee brushed mine every time he tried to move into a more comfortable sitting position.

My wings had unfolded due to my increase in heart rate; they were slightly shielding my exposed body, but not by much. The makeshift fire that Edward made earlier was dimming rapidly and the ice-cold floor stung my thighs as I sat as still as possible petrified by his gaze.

It roamed up and down my body stopping at my eyes and then returning to his cards. I would have been more petrified if his gaze had been filled with lust but no it was way worse, it was full of interest. I was looking him up and down too, but every time I got lower than his waist my eyes would shoot back up to his face and my checks would burn red.

My heart beat rapidly as I looked at my cards and discovered I had a decent hand. We both exchanged glances and laid our cards on the ground at the same time. Both were full houses. We both quickly looked at the cards numbers. Jacob had 9's and I had 10's. HA! I won! Jacob shrugged and stood up placing his hands on his waistband. My face lit up and nearly exploded my head. You could see his happy trail (**Deff: trail of hair from belly button to you know where**) leading down under the waistband.

"You know you don't have to." I said hoping I didn't sound desperate to get out of this.

"A deal's a deal." Jacob said continuing to move his skive drawers further south.

FIRE, FIRE! SOMEONE CALL THE FIREMEN! MY FACE IS ON FIRE! SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! BELLA KEEP IT TOGETHER WHY DID YOU SUGGEST THIS? AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Just as Jacob started tugging down on his skive drawers Edward and Jasper appeared.

"Hey Bella, Jacob we need to-." Edward stopped short and took in the scene in front of him. Me sitting on the ground with my wings covering parts of me and Jacob standing up in front of me with his hands on his waistband about to pull down his delicates. I could have sworn Edward's eyes rolled back in his head and steam came out of his ears as he pounced on Jacob taking him to the ground. He began slugging him in the head until Jasper tried to pull him off.

"Stop you two, STOP!" I yelled and the sound waves from my voice became a high and pitched screeching sound causing all of them fell over in pain covering their ears, soon they all blacked out. All I could do was stand in place and shake violently. I looked down at my hands, watching them tremble in fear.

What has that man done to me? I couldn't take it anymore, so I grabbed my clothes and ran off into the forest as fast as I could. The wind whipped behind me as I sprinted through the forest with ease, dodging oncoming objects with grace. Once my legs became sore and I couldn't run anymore I stopped and dropped to my knees.

_What is happening to me? First I was summoning up fire, and then I used my own hands to knock down a wall, and now with the sonic sound wave. What did that man do to me!_

And I continued to sob into my hands as I sat alone in the forest. Then I heard footsteps behind me but they were not very near, but getting closer.

_Oh yea and the hearing thing too._ I sighed and put on my clothes, waiting for the footsteps to reach me. After a few minutes a dainty looking girl that looked about in her 20's stepped out from the foliage followed by a crocodile waddling behind her.

"I thought I heard some crocodile tears, and I knew they weren't Aro's. Right Aro?" The croc nodded in response wagging his tail like a friendly golden retriever. The girl was wearing a light blue one strap top and a skirt of the same color that went about 3 in. above her knee. She had a staff in her hand that had a strange looking totem on the top. She laughed ever so lightly that her pixy cut black hair didn't even budge. She stopped her light giggle and looked at me.

"I know who you are Bella, but don't be alarmed, I can only tell that because I can see the future, thanks to that man." She smiled and waited for my response.

"Wait, you were an experiment too?" I asked wiping my tears away.

"Yes, I was and Bella it's nothing to fear. These traits you have are a gift to help you with your destiny." She replied as she unfolded her own pair of wings. They were white but they weren't those of a swan like mine. (**Haha Swan you get it? Bella Swan?**) They were short and stubbly and fluffy, kind of cute like you would find on a stuffed animal.

"My destiny? What are you talking about? I don't believe in that stuff! I make of my future what I want it to be." I snapped.

"Calm down please Bella, you're the only one who can do this. You have all the gifts of the angels. They were given to you for this purpose." She tried to reason with me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa what are you talking about? I wasn't touched by an angel or anything. That monster of a man did this to me." I was completely lost. This was like coming out of some Sci-Fi show.

"No he didn't Bella. He only did the horrible testing on the others. The reason he had this concept of animal people is because he saw you when you first developed your powers. Not even the other who has my power could see that far back into the past." She said.

"Wait, what? Who?" I wanted to know who this person is, they could be of some help to me.

"Its not mine to tell, well I must be going now Bella. And when your ready to know more, ask Edward and Jasper about me. Just tell them you want to know about Alice. Come along now Aro." And she vanished into the night with a crocodile following behind her. Wow, crazy chick seems to know a lot about me. I was about to turn around when an orb of light appeared in front of me. I looked into it and in a flash of light images of my child hood flooded my mind.

There are pictures of me about 5 years old playing outside with my dad, when my wings pop out and a strange man approaches my dad asking about it. My dad says that they are just plastic and takes me inside as the man smiles evilly as we go back inside. When the images fade I fall backwards onto the ground in a daze.

"Good. My memory spell worked. Bella Swan, your life is about to get complicated." Alice whispered into my ear, before disappearing once more into the foliage.

"I hate you Alice whats your last name." I croaked out and fainted. On the ground. In my undies. All I could think of was why the hell did I want to play strip poker?


	5. Bondage and Battle plans

A/N Dun dun dun dun! Another Edit!

-Slinky762

_My friends are gonna be there too, I'm on the highway to hell_

_On the highway to hell, highway to hell_

_I'm on the highway to hell _

_ACDC: Highway to Hell_

* * *

"Bella. Bella! BELLA!" I heard someone shouting my name, what they didn't know is I was a little delusional at the moment. So I babbled out the first sentence that came to my mind.

"Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't mmhhh." Where the hell did that come from?

"What the- BELLA!"

"WHO WHAT!" I shot up from my sleeping position. "Oh cramp!" And I feel back over landing hard on the ground. Evidentially sleeping on the ground does nothing for your back. I fell asleep fine and woke up with scoliosis.

"Took you long enough." Edward smirked helping me back into a sitting position. His face was muddy with a black eye and had many scratches on is arms and legs. His shirt sleeves where even ripped up.

"Did you get jumped by a rabid Chihuahua or something?" I asked tracing the holes on his sleeves.

"Oh yea Bella, because California has a rabid Chihuahua problem in these parts." Edward replied exasperated.

"Oh no I hate small yappy dogs!" I chuckled and clung to the front of Edwards ripped up jungle man shirt, acting like I was scared. As soon as I did so Edward went ridged and his face went up a few shades of red. I pulled away from him and gave him a questioning look. He turned his face away from me and pointed at my shirt. Completely clueless about what he was on about I looked down and shrieked and fell over. Apparently while I was blacked out it rained and I was so stupid as to wear white undies and run out into the woods of all things. I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled remembering last night.

_Why the hell does this always happen to me! Damn you nature!_ Just then Edward stood up and took his shirt off and gestured for me to take it. I smiled and took it from him, slipping it over my head with ease. It smelled of tree and Edward_. _

_Mhmmm yummy, almost as yummy as Edward shirtless._

"Ok we should get back, the wet dog is worried about you." He sneered at the thought of Jacob, and continued to walk the way we had come. I quickly scrambled to my feet and yelled after him.

"When I was playing strip poker with Jacob that meant nothing!" Ok I have no idea where that came from. He stopped at the sound of my voice and slow-mo turned around and faced me. Wow that was hot. He walked over to me and smiled.

"Why is it so important I know this Miss Bella Swan?" He chuckled smiling at me.

Oh he was good. Why did he need to know that? Stupid conscience. I pondered on the question until he moved closer to me. His breath was hot and smelled of mint. Where he got mint in the forest I'll never know. He slid his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. Hey, hey, hey who does he think he is? His chest was wet from the rain as well and the sun came out and shone on him like a god. He was so hot and sparkly. Damn my overactive imagination.

Thunk

"Ouch." Edward said pulling his head away. _Thank you chipmunk god for sending this acorn to save me!_ We both looked to the ground where an acorn had landed and heard squeaking noises from a tree overhead. Edward picked up the acorn and chucked it back at the chipmunk sitting there. It caught the acorn and chucked it back hitting Edward in the eye.

"Ahh. Damn squirrel." He mumbled as his good eye began to water.

"Aww she's so cute! And she's not a squirrel she's a chipmunk." I cooed at the chipmunk. I couldn't help it, it was just so dang cute, and it had just saved me from impending sexual doom. Thank you chipmunk! "Come here little one, come on."

It took a liking to me and jumped down out of the tree running towards me. I bent down ready to scoop it up into my arms, when it bypassed my outstretched arms and headed for my leg. It then proceeded to hump my leg. Oh she's a he.

"AHHHH GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" I yelled shaking my leg until it went flying off and hit a tree. Pissed off it climbed back up the tree and pointed at us. A whole army of chipmunks popped out of all the surrounding trees, all holding acorns.

"Oh shit." I mumbled, grabbed Edward's hand and made a run for it. Acorns were flying everywhere and whizzing past our heads. One hit Edward in the back. He dropped to his knees in the frenzy of acorns.

"Go on leave me, I'll be fine." He gasped out and fell to the floor with a lot of random twitching.

"Done?" I said standing over him.

"You are quite the kill joy aren't you?" He said looking up from his playing dead position on the ground. I grabbed his arm and pulled him off the ground dragging him back to our "camp". As soon as we got back Jacob was the first to pounce.

"What happened to you guys? You look like a wreck." Jacob said eyeing the acorns that had accumulated in my hair well what was left of it anyway.

"Well what do you expect? Do you want me to come out of the forest after sleeping on the ground, in my undies, in the rain and look civilized? We just got attacked by rabid pervert chipmunks for gods sake!" I yelled at him, he was obviously not getting the picture. Ah yes the war with the chipmunks, the greatest war the world will never now. Probably a good thing since we were losing. Miserably. I sighed and passed him without another word.

"Any questions about it should be addressed to me. I know everything." Jasper smirked making his eyebrows do the wave.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP DO YOU!" I yelled and tackled Jasper to the ground grabbing his head and proceeding to bang his head against the ground. Jacob and Edward stood at a distance watching me.

"I got 20 on Bella." Jacob whispered.

"Deal" Edward replied.

20 minutes later we all were calm and collected sitting around the fire eating random candies and honey buns from the dollar store a days flying distance from here. Turns out we are in the middle of no where.

I was the one to make the trip (after getting dressed of course) since the boys were all hung up on the words "honey buns" when I mentioned what I was getting. They are so immature.

"Ok guys you want to hear about Bella's little forest friend?" Edward smirked looking in my direction. Oh this guy was trying to push my buttons. And it was working. And it was kinda sexy.

"Tell them about the chipmunk and I will sneak over to you in the middle of the night and cut off your favorite appendage." I threatened loud enough for all of them to hear. "That means you too Jasper."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Jasper smirked at me and made his eyebrows do that wave thing again.

"Do you want it to be?" I grinned evilly. "I have no remorse." Jasper then crossed his legs in an attempt to protect his happy place.

"Bella got humped doggy style by a chipmunk!" Jasper blurted out unmoved by my earlier threat.

"That's it say goodbye to Mr. Happy!" I yelled making a move to jump him, but strong arms held me back.

"Ok Bella, down girl." Jacob said stifling a giggle_._

_Damn you and your convincingness Jacob._

"Bed time everyone, big day tomorrow." Edward said not showing any sign of restraining his full out laughing. Meanwhile I eyed Jasper and gave him daggers along with a nicely worded mental message.

You need to learn to sleep with your eyes open jackass. I know no bounds when it comes to revenge on ass holes. Jasper gave a shudder as he walked to the far end of the cave and made himself comfortable on the ground.

Smart guy. I mentally noted. There was at least 5 feet between him and me. He took my threat seriously. As soon as we were all settled on the ground getting comfortable there was a loud bang on the ceiling of the cave, followed by jello like footsteps.

"I want my mommy." Jasper whined in the darkness.

"Bertha." They all said in unison again. God is that ominous or what? I turned on my back to stare at the ceiling, when an idea hit me. I grinned evilly in the darkness as Bertha's footsteps faded into the distance. I then rolled over on my side facing Jacob.

"Hey Jacob, where does Bertha stay?" I whispered making sure Jasper couldn't hear me.

"She stays in a hut outside of the facility, why?" He drawled sleepily.

"Oh no reason." I smiled evilly in the darkness.

* * *

A few hours later everyone was fast asleep. Now it was time to carry out my revenge. I love the wise man that said "Never go to sleep angry, stay up and plot revenge."

I tip toed around all the sleeping bodies on the floor to the one I knew was Jasper. I mean how couldn't it be? It was the only one not snoring or radiating heat as much as the sun. I grabbed his legs and began to drag him to the mouth of the cave.

Surprisingly he was light enough for me to pick him up. Damn these powers are good. I then proceeded to put him on my back and fly in the direction of the Science Academy.

Problem. Jasper was heavier than your average sack of potatoes. But, to my relief, I soon came to a little shack on the outskirts of the fencing and such of the Academy. Problem solved. I dropped Jasper out side the shack and hid on the right side of the house, the one not facing the institute, and scooted over to the window. I peered into the window and searched for movement inside. It was then that I saw it. Bertha in a little nightie that barely covered her boobs much less her artic region.

I almost chucked honey buns right there and then but I had to hold it together if I was gonna get this done. I looked back in the room to make sure she was asleep. Well I didn't need to look to prove that.

There was also a horrible sound coming from inside that was close to a lawn mower and a leaf blower fornicating in a metal shack. I covered my ears and crossed my eyes. It was loud, horribly loud. I grabbed Jasper and opened the door, easily sneaking in.

I threw Jasper on the floor and slid him under the tiny bed that Bertha was perched on. I then ran back outside and made a lot of noise that was sure to wake Bertha. Sure enough she came running out side carrying that damned disk.

The wind began to blow and you could hear the pots and pans I hung up clanging together in the distance. Bertha giggled over in the direction of the noise leaving me to do my dirty deed. Glad to see my trap was working, I wandered inside and grabbed Jasper once more, throwing him on the bed.

I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could use for my evil schemes. Then I saw a drawer labeled Jasper's Ties. Freaked out a little by this display of stalkerishness I opened it and grabbed 4 of the ties. I took two and tied Jasper's hands to the headboard and used the other two to tie his legs to the end bedposts, spread eagle position.

I stepped back and admired my work. Beautiful, just beautiful. I walked out the door just in time to see Bertha making her way back to her shack. I smiled evilly and patted my self on the back. Sweet dreams Jasper, sweet dreams indeed.

* * *

Soon it was morning and Jacob and Edward were hounding me with questions. All of which were around the general subject of what the hell did I do with Jasper.

"Bella what did you do with him!" Edward exclaimed. "We are having an important meeting this morning and he needs to be here."

"He should be back any minute now. What meeting?" I said trying so hard to keep a straight face.

"Do you agree we need to find out where he is?" Edward asked, smirking already addressing Jacob.

"Yup I do agree with you only on this." Jacob replied smirking as well. All I could do was stare and wonder what the hell they were up to. I prepared for war.

Then they pounced like wild cats on an armadillo. I shrieked and tumbled over as they began a frenzy of tickling.

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHA AHAHHA STOP HAHAHAH PLEASE AHHAHAH!"

I was giggling and rolling everywhere until I got the upper hand and had Jacob and Edward both on their backs and tickling them at the same time. Oh yea payback is sweet. Speaking of which….

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Jasper gaped at us as he was standing in the bushes. His shirt was ripped and he still had a bit of the tie around his wrist, but it looked as if a wild rodent had gnawed it off. His hair was messed up as well and had lipstick marks all over his face.

"I would kill you now Bella Swan, but I can't." He said clearly frustrated about something.

"Whys that Jasper Cullen?" I teased. This was so much fun.

"I.." He paused for a second and then spit it all out. "I don't have any pants or underwear on."

All of us stood there staring at him hiding behind the bush. I was the first to speak.

"She… took your pants and underwear?" I said with a confused expression. Oh man this turned out better than I thought.

"Yea she ripped them off with her teeth as I was escaping." He mumbled under his breath. I couldn't take it anymore; collapsing in a heap on the floor I began laughing my ass off. The funniest thing about all this? I didn't know Bertha was so kinky.

"Well we are all here now sooo… who wants to save the world?" Edward ventured.

"You want to run that one by me again?"

Way to put it all out there at once Cullen.


	6. Hot and steamy with oh oh dreamy

"SAVE THE FRICKING WORLD?" I was in disbelief. This is no comic book or movie. I'm not Wonder Woman!

"Your kidding right? We are mutant bird kids and you want to turn us into the flying circus that saves the world?" I stood gaping at Edward and his marvelous idea. This was crazy! No normal person would have to save the world. God why me!

"There is no way I'm gonna do this no way." I stammered as I backed up shaking my head back and forth. During my very subtle escape backwards, I tripped.

"BELLA!" I heard three voices shout as I fell backwards down a steep slope that had magically appeared behind me. I shut my eyes tight and used my hands to cover my face, when I felt warm arms wrap around me.

When I felt solid ground beneath me I planed to open my eyes. _Ok, ok here we go._ As I peeled one eye open I came to find myself on top of Edward on the ground.

_What the hell is it with me ending up, either on top of or underneath guys!_ I scrambled to my feet and jumped off of him. Then I realized that I had just landed on this man and I am not exactly light as a feather, so I scrambled back over to him.

"Edward. Hey EDWARD!" I shook him violently and continued shouting his name.

"God you are so heavy." I heard him manage to gasp out.

"Oh thank god I thought I killed you." I said holding his head up as he spoke.

"Yeah with how much you weigh you could have." _That's it._ I dropped his head back on the ground and stood up.

"OUCH! God, what happened to caring about almost killing me?" I sneezed. "What's up with you?"

"I'm so sorry I'm allergic to bull shit. Because its bull shit that I care about you." I made a face at him and turned away._ God Bella, smooth real smooth._

"Ok well we need to find a way to get back up there." He said looking up the slope we ever so gracefully tumbled down. "Well we're not going up that way." He sighed. "Onward into the forest."

I stood there for a second and took this all in._ I am going to be lost in the woods with Edward for like a day maybe all alone. Oh GOD! Oh I can see the headlines now, and so the police found a girl who died of a heart attack at and early age… in the forest…with a guy. Greeeaaate._ So I stumbled along after him.

-8 hours later-

"I think its safe to say your navigational skills suck." I stated after passing the tree that looks like a kitten for the 5th time.

"What and you would have done any better." He breathed.

"Uh no not really… once I got lost… in an L shaped building." I paused waiting for the laughter. When I turned around, Edward was limping behind me this pained expression on his face.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy we are going to stop for the night." I said slumping to the ground by a tree. After a few minutes of silence that lasted like, forever, he spoke again.

"Why don't you want to save the world?" _Oh goodie 20 questions. Well at least its not strip poker._

I sighed and started drawing in the dirt with a stick.

"Why should I do anything for the country I live in when they have done nothing for me. I mean my dad always told me, "No man ever won a war by dying for his country, but by making the other poor bastard die for his."

"That's a stupid reason." He said eyeing me suspiciously. "Now whats the real reason?"

"I don't want to put myself in danger and risk dying." I mumbled looking at the floor. Edward looked up at me with disbelief pooling in his eyes. I looked up and met his gaze.

"Come with me." He said limping his way into a standing position. He extended his hand out and gestured for me to take it. Sliding my palm to his I stood as well. He led me over to the ledge.

"Stand there on that rock overlooking the cliff." He instructed. I did as he said and looked over the edge.

"I don't see anything." Really I didn't see a damned thing. He pushed me closer to the edge and stood on the rock with me.

_God this is like a friggin' scene from Titanic. Hold on a sec I think I see an iceberg in the distance._ I felt his arm around my waist; I was about to protest when he turned my head to look out over the edge.

My eyes where engulfed with the sight of moonlight bouncing off the trees and casting enormous shadows beneath us. The moon could be seen on the lake rippling ever so slightly. The scene took my breath away and I was lost in the beautiful world that was the middle of nowhere.

"See you are so close to impending doom yet, the beauty makes you feel safe and at ease. You shouldn't let stupid things like fear stop you Bella. So will you do it? Will you come with me and help us save the world?" He looked at me with pleading eyes as he stepped off the rock and held out his hand.

Ok why was it so important that he knew there was nothing between Jacob and I? Why did I blush when he touched my hand? Why did I feel so safe standing near a ledge with him holding me even though I am as scared of heights as a lawyer is scared of the truth?

I looked at his pleading eyes and found the answer. I jumped off the rock and into his arms, smashing my lips to his. My heart set off fireworks like the 4th of July as our lips began to move with each others. Some how his tongue made its way into my mouth and I melted as our tongues danced together.

THUNK I ignored it and kept kissing Edward with deep passion. Sadly this was my first kiss and I had 17 years of pent up teen angst. THUNK Still ignoring it. THUD DAMN THAT LIKE A MOTH- I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw two acorns and a brick lying on the ground. I snapped my head around to see Jacob, Jasper, and the leg-humping chipmunk staring at us with disgusted expressions. Needless to say we found our way back to camp.

Edward and I jumped apart, blushing furiously.

"Bella you do not want to know what was going on in his head. Someone's gonna have wet dreams tonight." Jasper sing-songed. A vein appeared on Edwards' neck. He was showing signs of enormous self-control. H sighed and clenched his fist.

"Well we are all up for the Save the World plan, a.k.a. Mission Impossible." Edward nailed Jasper with a mean right hook, making him drop to the floor groaning in pain. " So lets go."

-30 minutes and 2 tissue boxes later-

"Why did you have to punch me Edward? It hurt." Jasper whined making puppy dog faces at Edward. I didn't see what more that would get him; I mean he was already riding on Edward's back.

"How long have we been walking and where are we going?" It was my turn to whine now.

"We are going to the giant Hollywood sigh. That's where we can get into Dr. Grant's facility, its underground." Jacob hissed making daggers at Edward. They hadn't spoken to each other since our little kissing expedition. "And Bella its only been 20 minutes."

"And were here!" Jasper yelled like a little kid. We all looked up at the same time. Damn the kid was right.

"Well…" Jacob started.

"Here…" Edward added.

"We…" Jasper continued.

"Are…" I finished. I held my fist out and smirked. "Idiots unite!" I yelled. We all knocked our fists together and turned towards the Hollywood sign.

"Well how the hell do we get in?" Jacob pondered aloud. He had a point, there was no door or anything.

"Oh found it." I said pointing to a small wooden door on the Y in Hollywood.

"Wow how did I miss that?" Edward said turning his head to the side a little. We all timidly approached the door and slowly creaked it open slightly.

There was nothing. Nothing. We all pilled inside and cowered in the dark.

-FLASH-

A flash of light blinded us all and sent us tumbling back out the door into the… snow? I stood up and my eyes grew to the size of softballs. SNOW? I got to my knees and stared out into the white artic of the Himalayan Mountains.

"Oh you're kidding me right?" I shouted out into the snow.

"Hmm seems as though he connected a flux capacitor to the deregulator capsule and made a transponder transporter that sent us here." Jacob said.

"Huh? Wait since when do you speak geek?" I mean come on he seems like the type of guy who works on motorcycles and watches freakishly weird movies like Face Punch.

"Hey I can keep up in physics." He retorted.

"Go work on a motorcycle or something!" I shouted. "Please!"

"Guys we have bigger problems than Jacob's lack of manliness." Edward's jaw dropped to the floor. " We only have 12 days to make it from India back to California if we're gonna stop Dr. Grant and well we don't have much money for transportation."

Yes we are screwed. Really screwed. And yes I am aware that we have issues.

A/N

Well hello readers welcome to the part of the story where we actually get somewhere. I bet you liked the steamy scene huh huh huh? Well its not the best but you get the idea. XP

-Slinky762


	7. Hotels and Hangovers

As we began our decent down the mountains I saw 5 bears, 3 goats and one crazy old man sitting on a bowling ball eating a Twinky. So far this place wasn't getting my vote for vacation spot of the week.

"Ok everyone enough walking and more flying!" Jasper yelled as he took to the sky. And in about 5 seconds he came crashing back to Earth. "Never mind." He mumbled untangling his arms from his wings. Evidentially the wind was too strong to fly here.

"So everyone dump out your pockets and lets see how much money we have." I said hoping to have a genius breakthrough. I was half way through dumping out my pockets when I noticed Edwards hand was up.

"Yes my dear- I mean Edward?" I self corrected blushing a bit.

"Yea if you hadn't noticed we used up all of what we stole from the night guard to buy *** **snicker * honey buns." He said earning another round of laughter from the guys. Gosh immature much?

"Oh good point." I said noticing that we had nothing, not one nickel, so you know what that means. Yes my dear readers you guessed it! We had to get J-O-B-S. Jobs. I grabbed a newspaper that was rolling by like a tumbleweed and began inspecting the workers needed section. I sighed and looked up to the sky, there were some of the worst jobs on here but we had to take them. As I was looking up I saw a blob in the distance, on the horizon.

"Hey do you guys see that blob?" Edward, Jasper and Jacob all looked up from their obscene doodling in the dirt. Edward, the one of us that was graced with raptor vision, squinted at the blob.

"It looks like-." He began, but stopping to give me a "Your not gonna believe this" look. I looked in the same direction. Did you know squinting and making faces doesn't help your vision at all? I waited until it got closer, and closer to make out what it was. Behind me I heard a squeak of fear. I turned around to see Jasper cowering behind a snow covered rock.

"She found me!" He gasped and screamed like a school girl as he made a B-line for the bottom of the mountain. We all watched in awe as Bertha, on a hang glider, completely ignored us and followed Jasper down the snowy incline.

"Wow I never knew he could run that fast." Edward mused as he tilted his head watching the, now, two blobs speeding down the mountain.

"Should we go after him?" Jacob asked completely ignoring Edward's existence.

"He should be fine. He got away once he could do it again." I said smirking at the most glorious memory I will ever produce.

"We can't do that we have to get him some pants." Edward said starting after the route Jasper took in his mad dash.

"You're right." I sighed and followed suit, with Jacob tailing behind me like a friendly dog.

A few minutes later we found Jasper hiding in a small barn with a pitch fork. And to my surprise he still had his underwear.

"Where did your shirt go?" I said already knowing the answer I was going to get.

"She took it she's gone mad he, he and she's gonna come back I know it." He said clutching his knees and rocking back and forth.

"Great now we have to get him a shirt too." I sighed and started rubbing my temples. This means one less person to get a job and put together some money.

"Ok why doesn't Edward have an obsessive ex." Jacob started pouting. Aww he looks so cute.

"He does, she lives in Miami." Jasper said going right back to his old self.

"Well someone's a little- you have an obsessive ex?"

"Can we please focus?" Edward said eyeing Jasper like he had just eaten the last Twinkie the world will ever eat.

"That sounds great, now the big thing is where are we going to stay?" Jacob said getting us all back on track. Who knew he would be the brains of this adventure?

"I have an idea… I'll be right back." I said and slipped away into the snowy wilderness. "I'll be back before dark!" I yelled over my shoulder.

-30mins later-

I peered into the glass doors of the hotel practically placed at the bottom of the mountain. Well it's now or never. I got down on all fours and crawled in through the automatic doors.

"Welcome to the hotel-… no ones there. Ok I'm losing my mind." The blonde girl at the desk said looking quite scared.

I continued my crawl to the desk, stopping James Bond style against the potted plant against the back wall. Ok Chuck Bartowski style then, since the pot tipped over and the lady at the desk turned white.

"Who's there? I'll have you know I'm armed, with a teaser… and pepper spray!" She got crazy eyes and whimpered a little. This is what passes as night security these days? I'm appalled. I scooted to the side a little more and came around the desk. Crouching low, she still didn't notice me. But as the genius that I am I tipped over the phone that was sitting on the counter and it came crashing to the floor. She whipped around and tazered me in the leg.

I felt the jolt of electricity run through my body, from that point on my leg all the way out to my wings. The sudden shock took me by surprise and my wings unfolded. The girl took one look at them and hit the floor.

"Now why didn't I do that in the first place?" I thought out loud as I rubbed my leg trying to get the feeling back. If I had done that I could have avoided getting tazered.

Not wasting time I jumped on the computer behind the desk and found out how to check in. Once that was over I grabbed one room key and extra soaps and stuff, shoving them into my pockets. Then I thought about the tazer, I grabbed it off the ground and saw it was only set to setting 1. What a wondrous thing this tazer would be if we brought it along with us.

_Oh just think of all the power ha ha! Now how do you turn this thing on?_ Just as I found the button Jasper walked in the front door scaring the crap out of me.

"Are you almost-"

ZAP

"Done." He gasped and fell over convulsing like a 5yr old on a sugar high.

_OH SHIT I TAZERED JASPER! And I can't even enjoy it!_ I ran over and tried to pick him up, but to no avail. And the lady behind the desk was regaining conciseness. I had a moment of panic as I dragged Jasper over to the laundry shoot. _Well Jas you'll thank me later._ I thought as I shoved him through the hole.

I heard the elevator ding as a bellhop came out carrying some bed sheets. I hid in a nearby supply closet as the bellhop noticed the out cold secretary.

"Rose? Hey Rose wake up." He said shaking her awake.

"I had the most horrible dream Emmett! I met a bird girl and she tazered me!" Rose gasped out as she sat up.

"You have been reading too much James Patterson. You really need to get more sleep if you're falling asleep on the job." Emmett said probably writing this off as an everyday occurrence.

_Man whoever this James Patterson guy is I like the way he writes!_

"So what are the bed sheets for?" Rose said trying to get back to normal conversations.

"Oh well Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater were um… "exercising" if you will and they got some uh… bodily fluids all over the bed sheets so they asked for clean ones." Emmett said blushing furiously. " How two 70 year olds can do that heaven forbid I ever find out how." He shuddered violently as he walked over and dropped the bed sheets down the laundry shoot.

_NOOOOOO! Jasper is so not going to thank me for that. Uhggg gross. _I got on my hands and knees and began crawling out of the closet.

"Hey Emmett did you see that door open?" Rose said pointing at the closet door.

_SHIT!_ I froze in place and weighed my options. Get up running out screaming or freeze and hope they don't see me.

"Oh your imagining things, are you tripping or something?" Emmett said sighing and grabbing new bed sheets for the sexually active geezers.

"I will have you know ladies don't trip, we sway and stagger." Rose said like she was an expert in the subject.

"Ri-ghtt well would the "lady" care to join me for a drink after work so we can test that theory?" Emmett said making his eyebrows do that wavy thing.

"In your dreams dude you would have better luck with a stripper!" I whisper yelled.

"Did you hear that?" Emmett said.

"No, what?" Rose said thinking hard.

"Yea buddie this is your conscience telling you there's no chance in hell!" I whispered again as I crawled out the front door and into the snow.

"I'll tell you after work, k hon?" Rose said swaying her hips sexily as she returned to her work. When she got behind the desk she tripped over the rug on the floor and dived head first into the fire extinguisher.

"Maybe we could go for that drink now." Rose said rubbing her temples "Because I really need it, NOW."

Back out in the snow I gathered the guys around.

"Ok guys everything's set, lets go." I said smiling wide.

"Uh where's Jasper?" Edward said looking around hoping he would pop out somewhere. My smile dropped and I had a flash back.

"Um he's already inside… sort of." I said twiddling my thumbs and avoiding eye contact.

"Sort of? Care to elaborate on that Bella?" Jacob crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Uh well I kinda dropped him down a sperm shoot." I said trying not to giggle.

Edward snickered and placed his hands on his knees as if to keep himself from falling over in a fit of laughter. As Edward did that Jacob was rolling in the snow laughing so hard he was crying and his tears were freezing on his cheeks.

"So I guess that makes you a sperm donor!" Jacob gasped out, resulting in another round of laughter. Oh kill me now. Please? As Jacob and Edward got that out of their system I walked back in the hotel acting like a guest this time instead of a secret agent having an epic fail. For some reason the people weren't at the desk so getting into the laundry room was easy. But we hit a snag when there was a lady in the laundry room who found Jasper before we did.

"?Que es este burro se enfrentan chico haciendo aqui?"(What's this donkey faced guy doing here?) The cleaning lady said looking puzzled. I had to act fast.

"Ohhh looks like you found my boyfriend. Lol thanks lady, I like looked everywhere for him. Come on Jasper." I said in my blonde voice. "Edward help me!"

"Ok, ok ready one, two, three LIFT!" And somehow me and Edward got Jasper up and hauled him back to the lobby.

"Chicas en estos dias, putas con una agenda."(Girls these days, hookers with an agenda) She said shaking her head as we left.

We got Jasper back up to the room and all made our plan to get money and get out of here while watching the Disney channel. And let me tell you once you go Disney you never go back.

After about an hour Jasper woke up.

"Wow guys I feel hung over." He mumbled as he staggered to the couch.

"Wait, wait, wait you are not sitting on this couch after where you have been!" Jacob shouted scooting to the arm as far away as he could get.

"Uh where have I been?"

"No where special, but go take a shower." I said shooing him to the bathroom.

"Whats this white stuff on my shirt?" He said with genuine fear in his voice.

"I'll tell you later but first shower." I said closing my eyes and hoping I miraculously lose my voice in the time it takes him to take a shower and dry off.

"This better not be what I think it is or so help me Bella Swan." He said as I pushed him in the shower narrowly escaping.

"You know we are going to have to tell him where he's been eventually." Jacob said giving me a look that shouted Bella you're gonna have to do it.

"And we are going to have to tell him our plan is based off a Hannah Montana episode and a Phineas and Ferb commercial." Edward added.

Just another day in the life of Bella Swan the half bird girl.

A/N

Sorry for the long wait guys! School is getting close and I'm having no time to type what so ever. I hope I'll get another chapter up before I get real busy. Until then.

-Slinky762


	8. Welcome to Tittywaken

Ok so telling Jasper that our plan was based off cartoon plots didn't go too well.

"Cartoons? Why don't you just grab a monkey and ask him to write this story huh?" Jasper yelledajflkdsa fnfsda; vcoisafsdhnfjewnf;dsahfishfs;nafdsu

"Ok I didn't mean literally." I knew this wasn't going to go well.

"Jasper it's all we have now so just deal." I said rubbing my temples yet again. By now you're probably on the edges of your seats yelling at the screen " What, what are they going to have to do!" Well readers you asked.

~When Jas was in the shower~

"What good jobs are there Bella? Better than that I hope. Please it's not right." Edward pleaded, but to no avail. I had made up my mind. Besides I would never want to be a whale blubber gutter or a seal speaker, not until hell freezes over.

"Come on Bells it's just bizarre!" Jacob ranted pacing back and forth.

"Well guys all of these ads say Female workers only. And Jas doesn't have any pants." I sighed.

"Ok." They both sighed and looked at me seriously. Then they bust out laughing.

"I'm sorry Bella but PHP Ninja (sadly it's a real job, go ahead look it up)? HHAHAHAHAHHA!" They rolled on the floor and gasped for air. And now let me guess your thinking "Da Hell?" Well a PHP Ninja is a programmer by day and a security guard by night. I only have to do it for a week, not that it makes it any better.

Also why is this job position open? Well let me read you the description.

"Looking for Female with some computer skills and not scared of much. Since this job gets well, you'll find out." And that was it. There was an address, but what they want with a programmer/night guard escapes me. And I'll find out? (GULP)

~In the front of Frozen Monkey Balls Computers ( Our computers are so cool they can freeze the balls off a brass monkey)

I stood there staring at the sign. I mean what else was there to do? Run back to the hotel screaming? Tempting but no. I took in a good deep breath and walked through the doors. A small man balding in the center of his head looked at me and smiled. Like I was the one person they couldn't fit on a life boat on the Titanic. He rushed over and grabbed my hand shaking it violently.

"You must be Bella Swan. Am I right?" He said between shakes.

"Yea, uh I'm here for my job interview I guess."

"Oh there's no need for that." He said still smiling creepily at me.

"Uh why? And when do I start?" I stuttered wondering when he's gonna let go of my hand.

"No reason, and you start now, bye!" He said taking off like a fighter jet off a runway out the door, leaving me there with the most bizarre expression on my face and an old lady with dreadlocks (?) and a cat in her purse standing at the register looking at me expectantly. I will tell you now, there are some freaky ass people in this town, what ever town this is.

I blinked rapidly wondering why he wanted to get out of here like a bat out of hell. Walking over to the counter I tried to remember how to work a cash register. The lady smiled at me and put a paint ball gun on the counter.

"Um excuse me but why do you need a paint ball gun? Won't the paint freeze in midair?"

"Oh it's for when them damned kids go in my yard and try to take my yard ornaments and hid them in that bears den again." She said smiling a toothy grin at me. I started blinking again. Where the hell am I? Mommy… "You know once them kids get hit by it once they never come back." She continued smiling like she just said she would give them cookies.

"Ok." I gulped and scanned the paintball gun. Just as I was going to tell her how much it was a big scary guy with tattoos came in and eyed me evilly.

"Give me all the money in the register!" He barked and shoved a bag to me. No wonder people scattered like flies from this job! I grabbed the bag shakily and began filling it up.

"Boy are you trying to take this nice lady's money from that there register?" The Old lady piped up.

"Yea granny whats it to you?" He snarled.

"Didn't your momma teach you better you hooligan! Take this!" And right before my eyes the old lady with dreads began beating this dude mercilessly. She whacked him so hard one of his teeth flew into the tip jar! Just as she was about to get him again with her purse, her cat jumped out and went for his face.

"That's it! Get 'im fluffy!" She yelled like she was at a football game. My jaw dropped as the dude picked up what was left of his pride and ran out the door into the snow. Crying. Just as it couldn't get any better the lady turned back around and asked me ," So how much is it dear?" Stunned I threw my hands up and said," Take it please. You just saved my life and newly acquired job."

"Why thank you dear, come along fluffy." She said all old lady like. The cat meowed happily and trotted after her out the door.

"Wait! What city am I in?" I yelled after her.

"Well sugar don't go looking it up on no map cause you won't find it." She said over her shoulder," But Welcome to Tittywaken." She said smirking.

Perfect. I'm in a town you can't find on a map and of all things it's called Tittywaken. The guys are never gonna get over this.

As soon as I couldn't see the lady anymore she stopped and made an A and a C in the air and a flash of light consumed her. Where the old lady once was Alice now stood with her faithful pet Aro.

"Haha I work in mysterious ways." She said laughing lightly. Beside her Aro shriveled up like a prune in the cold air.

"Aww I'm sorry baby." She cooed and made another A and C in the air turning her shivering alligator into a bright eyed husky. "Better baby?" She cooed again in baby talk. Wow cat lady at heart. She looked to the sky and sighed as Aro trotted off to chase a snowshoe hare.

"It's only a matter of time Bella Swan. Only a matter of time."

I trudged back to the hotel stomping my feet as I went. Worst. Day. Ever. When I got to the hotel door I knocked our secret knock (not my idea) and recited our password (not my idea either). After a few seconds I was greeted by Edward in his jimmies. Ah sigh. I walked about two steps into the room and threw my jacket and backpack down.

"Well gang welcome to Tittywaken." I stated. I the room where the beds were I heard a clatter like someone fell over a bag of some sort and another bag like someone just hit the wall followed by hysterical laughter. Ah it's good to be home. I walked into the bed room and surveyed the damage.

Well a new problem arose when I realized some one spilled water on my bed in their fit of laughter. Here's the layout, I would sleep on this bed, Jacob was on the floor and Jasper and Edward would share a bed. So here's a question, where am I going to sleep now?

~30 minutes later~

Another shiver fought its way up my spine and I blushed even darker. Edward lay very close to me and this time he wasn't snoring. He was HOT. He rolled my way and put his arm over me. Oh My God. We must have looked like a married couple to the average idiot. I reached out and touched his face lovingly as he slowly breathed in and out. I leaned in to kiss him and-

SNORE!

I jumped back and almost fell off the bed. Ok I guess that was coming since I was being a little perverted trying to kiss someone while they were sleeping.

"Pervert." I heard from the other side of the bed. I turned back towards Edward to find him staring at me and smirking.

"I felt and saw everything." He said smiling softer. My jaw dropped and I blushed darker than a tomato.

"All you had to do was ask." He said leaning over towards me and our lips tou-

SNORE!

We jumped back from each other yet again as Jacob let another snore lose. Edward grabbed a pillow and threw it at Jacob's head blocking out the snoring. He then leaned over and pressed his warm lips to mine. Our lips moved together passionately and I parted my lips a little allowing our tongues to dance together. Edward then slid his hand up my shirt to find my girls growing hotter by the minute. Like my face. I started to panic knowing what he was getting at. I had no idea what to do next. You know, all those romance books I read when I was 12 should have prepared me for this. I broke our kiss and whispered in a soft voice.

"Stop, you know we can't. Jasper and Jacob will hear."

The lights flipped on.

"Damn straight, and in more ways than one. You should really wash your brain out with soap." Jasper whispered leaning on his elbow staring at us expectantly. "Oh please do continue, don't mind me." His smile grew wider by the second.

"Good night Jasper." Edward sighed and flipped the lights off.

"Smoochy, smoochy." Jasper cooed from the darkness.

"Not another word Jasper." Edward growled flipping on his side away from me.

"Smoochy, bow chika wow, wow."

"Jasper I have pillows and I'm not afraid to use them." Edward growled.

"Oh yea, OH YEA." Jasper yelled.

"That's it pretty boy your getting it now!" Edward yelled and out of now where the pillows began to fly. All of a sudden Jasper and Edward were jumping around the room throwing pillows back and forth. In his excitement Jasper unfolded his wings tipping over a lamp, which tipped over his glass of water, which spilled on the electrical plug shorting out the electricity in the whole hotel.

"JASPERRR!" Edward yelled in the darkness.

"Don't you mean ALVINNNN!" Jasper yelled back.

SNORE!

A/N

Haha another chapter down! Now I have a set date I would like to get my chapters in and let me tell you they will all be on time. Tune into your computers each Sunday for a new chapter (: Until next Sunday!

-Slinky762


	9. All Hale Jasper

My eyes fluttered open to find the light of the sun tearing it's way through the curtains and into the room. On one side of me Edward was lying sleepily with his hand over his eyes and breathing in and out evenly. On the floor Jacob was snoring yet again and Jasper was knocked out on the floor drooling onto the carpet.

Well Bella Swan, here's another day, let's get up and face it. I got up out of bed and put clothes on, tripping on my pants when I did so. Pants… oh yea I have to go get Jasper some pants. Since my job is hazardous and people don't stick around for that long, they pay me after each day I work. Who knows when a person would up and leave that job.

If I didn't need this job so badly I would have up and left the minute that bald dude locked eyes with me. I walked out of the hotel room and walked towards the front desk. I walked in to see two hung over hotel employees. Heh go figure. I walked past the front desk and out the door when Rose noticed me and recognized my face.

"EMMETT!" She shrieked.

"I'm right here Rose, what?" He sighed rubbing his temples in a Bella Swan fashion.

"That girl she is who jumped me the other night!" Rose said eyeing me like I was going to jump her again. Tempting, but I'm on a mission and that Emmett dude looked like he could stop a rampaging bull with his bear hands.

"Excuse me miss do you per chance have wings?" Emmett sighed still rubbing his temples.

"Not that I know of, if I suddenly sprout wings and fly away I'll let you know." I said continuing my walk to the only clothing store in this town.

I walked in and headed towards the men's department grabbed some pants and walked towards the cash registers. The only one that was open had a small man balding in the middle of his head. So this is where they all go fleeing from that job huh? I walked up to him and smirked.

"So we meet again." I said looking him in the eye evilly, which totally creeped him out.

"Uh how m-may I help-p you?" He stuttered.

"Scan this." I said handing him the pants.

"Ok." He said in a small voice.

"$5.50 please." He said watching my hands carefully. What did he think I was going to do? Slug him? Yet again very tempting.

I handed him the money and as soon as he gave me the change I turned to the lady next to me.

"Do you need that water bottle?" I asked sweetly.

"Uh no…" She said.

"Thanks." I said smiling and I took the bottle and poured out all the water on Baldy. "Welcome to the Titanic. One way tickets only please." And with that I took the pants and left. Ah how I love Saturdays.

~Back at the hotel~

"Uh Bella, where did you get these pants." He said sounding relatively scared.

"The store why?" I said looking over my schedule for work.

Then before my sensitive little eyes Jasper walked out of the bedroom in -wait for it- orange booty shorts. I didn't even know they sold booty shorts in Nepal. Yup Nepal is where we are and evidentially the town is really called Tittywaken.

I should have looked at those pants before I bought them.

"HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD!" I shouted falling out of the chair I was sitting in.

"You have to go back and get new ones!" Jas shouted hysterically at me trying to cover up his muscular thighs.

"Umm I'm sorry I can't, Baldy probably told the manager to beware of psychotic teenagers with water bottles by now." I sighed and silently enjoyed this moment of triumph. "Now go out and find a place where you can work booty shorts guy, maybe they'll just think you're a he she and not bother asking questions. I mean this is Nepal how bad could it be?" I said shooing him out the door.

Down the street Jasper began looking in all the store windows but sadly no one was wanting cross dressing bird dudes for work. Poor Jasper hung his head and kept walking muttering to himself how horrible I was and one of these days am going to be attacked by a lion or run over by a bus.

Soon in front of him there were 5 men on donkeys and as soon as they saw him they jumped off their steeds and bowed to the ground in front of him.

"Oh great and holy Dalai Lama, we have finally found you." One of them said.

"Huh me?" Was Jasper's response.

"Yes good and holy one come, we must take you to your palace." Another said dragging Jasper to a donkey and riding off into the sunset with him. And that was the last Me, Jacob, and Edward heard of him. Well for a few hours anyway. At about 3 in the afternoon Jasper showed up at our hotel in a nice robe and was carried here by 5 giant men holding a throne. This creeped me out hugely.

"What the f*** is this?" Jacob gaped at the scene.

"You have said unholy words in front of the great Dalai Lama!" One monk shouted next to Jasper. He waved his hands and Jacob was taken away by big scary looking men.

"What are they gonna do with him." I whispered to Edward.

"I don't know." He whispered back.

"Good monks me and my friends have a mission to attend to now so please bring the cursing one back." Jas said bowing to the monks following him. In return the monks bowed back and brought Jacob back.

"What did they do to you?" I whispered as Jasper talked with his new monk friends.

"They made me read an absurd book and meditate." Jacob said shivering.

"What book." I said.

"Twilight." Jacob said as a bolt of lightning struck behind him. Hmmm weird it was sunny a few minutes ago.

"Now if you will excuse me my friends I must go and save the world." Jas said all professional like.

"We would like to help with this." One monk said. "Will this help?" He pulled out 25,000 dollars in cash from his robes.

" Oh hel … heck yea!" My mouth dropped.

"I will see you soon my friends." Jas said again to the monks.

"We already bought your tickets on you better hurry, your flight leaves at 5. It lands in New York." A bald monk said.

Well this town is strange I tell you. With a capital S. Jasper is the new Dalai Lama? Monks have laptops and can pull 25,000 dollars out of their robes? Maybe we landed in the Twilight Zone. Another flash of lightning struck behind us. Ok what is it with lightning and the word Twilight? Another flash. Gimmie a break!

Ok so we packed our things and left for the airport. We made a stop by the computer store so I could "employ" another sucker into working there to take my place. And in the next 5 mins we were at the air port and ready to go.

"Ok Jasper what did you do?" I said raising an eyebrow at Jas.

"I have found true enlightenment here in this wonderful country." Jas said all spiritual like.

"5 bucks Jasper gets off the crazy train as soon as we land in New York." Jacob said to me.

"Your on." I said shaking his hand.

"What about me?" Edward said stealing a quick kiss before Jacob could see. An I know its sad but I'm gonna miss this place.

"All passengers boarding flight 546 to New York please board now."

New York here we come.

**A/N **

**I know it's a short chapter but I couldn't find the time to make a long one. Sorry . I hope the next chapter will be a tad bit longer. I guess we'll see. Until next Sunday.**

**-Slinky762**


	10. Birds on a Plane

I couldn't tell what was worse, the baby crying in the back of the air plane or the 5 year old behind me kicking my seat. I guess it was about 5am and we were at least 3 to 4 hours out of New York. For some reason flying on a plane was weird considering I have flown without you know the hulking metal object keeping me in the air.

It was agonizing sitting here with my wings pressed into my back, my sad attempt to hide them. I fact I had been keeping my wings like that since, like ever. Keeping them closed when we were in Nepal was because of the strong wind surrounding us. I mean if I opened them there I would have been off like a prom dress. But I guess I was just trying to hide them now.

I kept getting this nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen. Something really bad. I looked to my right over at Jasper who was sleeping so hard a volcanic explosion couldn't wake him up, next to him Jacob was slumped on to him drooling on the seat. No worry there. Then to my left there was Edward. He was listening to the movie playing on the screen totally zoned out. That must have been one hell of a movie.

I was about to call his name when we hit some serious turbulence. I was bouncing in my seat like a Mexican jumping bean.

"Due to some turbulence we ask that you remain seated for the duration of the flight, unless it's an emergency." The Pilot said a little shaken. This can't be good. At all. Edward got my vibe and turned toward me mouthing the words "not good" and looked out the window. I felt I big bump and looked out my window. To my surprise Bertha the experiment slayer was on the wing outside my window. She was fumbling with some wires leading from the front of the plane to the wing.

This I assumed was not going to be pleasant. She snipped the last few wires, winked at me, and jumped off the wing parachuting to safety. Meanwhile the plane started losing altitude, fast. People jumped up and started screaming, some were on the floor praying and one girl in front of me was texting, while her mother yelled at her.

"Who in the world could you be texting at a time like this!"

"GOD!" The girl yelled back.

I stifled a laugh as I made my way to the front of the plane and into the pilots cabin.

"What are you doing up here!" The assistant pilot yelled at me as I entered.

"There is something wrong with your wing!" I said as I motioned out the window. " I want to try and fix it."

"Are you nuts!" The Pilot yelled at me. "There's no way you can climb out there and live! You would have to have wings or something!"

I sighed and looked him in the eye. "That is exactly it." He widened his eyes at me as I made my way to the emergency door. People started screaming as I flung myself out of the door and into the air. I snapped my wings open and pushed down hard, then I was flying. It was an amazing feeling really, I had no time to enjoy it as I landed on the wing and started fumbling with the wires.

I was having so much trouble holding on to them since we were going, say about 75 miles/hour and dropping at a rate of uh 5 yards per second? Since when was I this good at math? After a few minutes of fumbling with the wires I realized I had no Idea what I was doing. I started to panic and hit myself in the head wracking my brain for the least bit of help.

"ATTACH THE RED WIRE WITH THE BLUE AND CUT THE YELLOW WIRE AND ATTACH IT TO THE GREEN!" I heard Jacob yell out of the plane over all the screaming. Where he got this information I don't know and I wasn't about to question it. I began yanking and attaching wires left and right until we slowed our plummet and the pilot regained control of the plane.

Now that all the people stopped screaming and what not they took the time to notice my wings. Oops. I started blushing and wanting to hide them away again but I just couldn't. How could I just go back in the plane and act like nothing happened? I sighed and threw caution to the wind.

"Come on guys New York is that way!" I yelled and jumped off the wing feeling the wind whip through the feathers on my wings as I glided away. Edward and Jasper jumped out of the plane both with a really good grip on one of Jacob's arms. Since we had no bags there was nothing to leave behind as we flew off. And behind us rumors and gossip filled the plane.

A few hours later we landed in New York.

"Damn I thought we were in for it then but then Bella was so badass and fixed the wing, hell yea!" Jasper yelled. Well so much for his holiness. In the corner of my eye I could make out Jacob and Edward exchanging ones. Apparently Edward was in on it too. Where they got the betting money I don't want to know. But as soon as they were finished I walked over to the both of them and pointed at the big clock in Time Square where we landed.

"It's 8:30 am I think you know what that means." I said winking at Jacob and Edward.

"Damn." Jacob said handing over all the money to me. Ah I love it when I win. I walked out ahead of all of them and took in the sights. Ah this place is wonderful. I then saw a man in a pink tutu wearing nothing but that tutu and sighed again. Yes this is such a wonderful place there are people freakier than us here. The man in the tutu for some odd reason dropped the heart shaped wand he was holding and bent over to pick it up.

I swear my eyes began burning. "Ah my virgin eyes!" I yelled as the man stood back up and continued walking. Oh man oh man this place was scary, and it can't get any worse. I stumbled around and over a man hole. It then opened and 4 human sized turtles with colored bandanas came out of it waved at me and waked into the nearest pizza shop. I stand corrected.

"Hey Bella can we go to a baseball game while were here?" Jasper said all wide eyed like a little puppy.

"No Jasper we have a mission and I want to at least get to Texas before noon tomorrow so lets go." I said looking for a way into a nice deserted building to take off from. Jasper wouldn't give up on this one. He laid on the Bambi eyes and stuck out his bottom lip. Damn those Bambi eyes.

"Fine well hit one game before we leave." I sighed and surveyed the area.

"Yay!" Jasper yelled clapping his hands together.

"Up top man!" Edward said and high fived Jasper.

"Ugh they're like children!" I said to Jacob heaving a sigh. He's mature he would know my pain.

"That's awesome dude high five!" Jacob said running over to Jasper. Well there goes that thought.

**A/N**

**Well I know very well that I'm late yet again on this update. Sry guys schools a bitch . But I will try yet again to update! Now you should be looking for my updates on Mondays and Sundays. So until then :3**

**-Slinky762**


	11. Take me out to the, Were is everyone?

**A/N **

**Holy hell in a hand basket how long has it been since I updated? The world outside my computer has gone to hell and I have not been able to type at all! Also typing two stories at once does things to you . Well now I have considered to either update one story a week or stop typing one story all together. What do you think? Comment!**

**-Slinky762**

I suppressed a yawn as the lady with huge boobs on the baseball field finished the last line of the national anthem. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the patriotic crap that we Americans have, but baseball really isn't my thing if you know what I mean. Beside me Edward, Jacob, and Jasper were sitting expectantly on the edges of their seats waiting for the game to start. I was sitting expectantly on the edge of my seat waiting for it to end. The announcer guy came on the intercom.

"Um there seems to be some uh not so technical problems here. Uh some fat chick wearing all black just kidnapped both baseball teams." My jaw dropped and eyes widened. I think I know where this is gonna go.

"Bella, Bella! Watching a baseball game is cool but saving baseball players is like a triple rainbow of awesomeness!" Jasper gasped, pleading like a 4 year old. I was sunk when 6 pleading eyes met mine. I resisted the urge to give in with all my will power.

"Ok fine." Obviously I didn't have much will power, huh? So off to the announcer room we go, to get info on the kidnapping.

We didn't get much out of the announcer dude. For lack of a better word he was quite the ass hole. Can't tell much over an intercom, can you? Also his sexy voice threw you off from the "Dirty Hill-Billy" look.

"What do you brats want?" He barked as soon as we entered the room.

"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the lawn chair this morning." Jasper commented as the rest of us glared holes in his head.

"Do I need to make my question more hostile?" The announcer dude growled as he covered the microphone sitting in front of him.

"Hi um Mr.…?" Edward began trying to kiss ass.

"Black." Mr. Black grunted. " Billy Black." He finished eyeing Jacob.

"Uncle Billy?" Jacob said wide eyed and whimpering.

"Jacob?" Billy said back with just as much enthusiasm. And I swear seeing two men run in slow motion towards each other in a field of shiny flowers is by far the strangest thing I have ever seen. And trust me, I have seen some pretty strange things in my time. You know being half bird, half kid. After the emotional reunion my eyes were still burning.

"So um you two know each other?" Jasper said. No duh Sherlock, and the moon orbits the Earth too.

"He's my nephew." Billy said tearing up slightly. " His mom and dad thought they lost him back in California. They were swimming along the beach when the tide came and swept him away." Billy continued squeezing the crap out of Jacob again. Hmmm so Jacob has parents that actually want him, that crazy doctor must have picked him up off the beach figuring he was homeless.

"So not to be a kill joy or anything but, what about the kidnappings?"

~Hollister, California~

Dr. Grant (Hey haven't seen him around lately huh?) stepped out of the hall into a room with 7 other scientists in white lab coats. He sat in a huge chair and cast an icy stare at everyone in the room.

"You all know why you are here right?" Dr Grant's voice boomed around the room.

The scientists nodded and one sad SOB raised his hand in wonder. Dr Grant's eyes locked on his and stared him down.

"Yes Dr Carlisle?" Everyone in the room turned towards him.

"I was wondering what we are doing actually, I just don't get it." He said keeping a low voice.

"Well you incompetent fool, we are killing everyone in the world with defects slowly by mutation, if I have to spell it out for you." Dr Grant sneered at the thought of what he would do with this poor soul for screwing up.

"What?" Carlisle stuttered just realizing what he got into. They advertised this job as many different things. Surviving 2012, creating better life for people, and making science breakthroughs. Not murder and mutation.

"We are creating and army of mutated beings right now and going to use them to go out in the world and seek the sick and elderly and either killing them on the spot or injecting a needle of animal genes that will take over the body and try to turn it into that animal, while I will sit back and watch, hopefully it will be entertaining." He smiled so cold bloodedly all his teeth were showing once more.

" Bertha my greatest achievement has been following around our greatest threat, and it seems they have been seeking me out. Well let them come, come to meet their doom. No one knows how much information they hold on my institute and what they could do with it, like go to the police for example. I will have none of this. Which is why Bertha is keeping them in line for me." He continued smiling until spots began forming on his face and his hair began growing thick. "Run little piggy run." Dr Grant managed out in a growl.

Carlisle took off towards the exit adrenaline pumping through his veins. But he was too late.

~Somewhere in New York~

We were all staring up at a pink-ish looking building with a sense of misplacement.

"It just screams Bertha." Jasper said fighting the urge to shiver.

"I know what you mean, before I only met her once and this defiantly tells that story." Edward said.

"That must have been crazy." Jacob whispered forgetting the fact that he hated Edward's guts for maybe a millisecond.

"You have no idea." Edward answered back.

"Into the valley of death stumbled the thoughtless and stupid." I mumbled as I stepped forward and grabbed a cold door handle. Inside it was, well like an abandoned building. The pink exterior kind of threw you off, kind of like Billy Black. How in God's name is Jacob related to THAT? I don't know but the world works in mysterious ways. Jasper walked over to the elevator and pressed the button. Nothing happened, so like any child would he continued pounding the button until it popped of in a mess of springs.

"Oops." He mumbled and backed away looking at the ceiling. I motioned for us to go to the stairs. Edward, like the gentleman he is, held open the door for us as we all walked in. Jacob stood at by the railing and looked up.

"How many floors did this building look?" He said cringing a bit.

"30 maybe 40." Edward said sighing heavily." Just a guess."

"Here we go." I grunted and started up the stairs of death.

~Floor 10~

"Find anything?" I shouted drearily down a corridor.

"Nope just an old record player and a chicken in the men's restroom." Jasper yelled back as I heard clucking in the background. Great.

~Floor 23~

Did you know if you throw a chicken out the window of the 20th floor window, that it won't fly? It will just flap around for a few seconds, then drop like a rock onto a pedestrians head. Don't look at me all those animal cruelty eyes and what not. If you had to go 10 floors listening to all that clucking you would have thrown both the chicken and the guys out the window. At least I had the compassion not to throw them out the window with the chicken. Then again they would have laughed at me and flown off, well except for Jacob. He would have been a sidewalk pancake.

~Floor 27~ 

Did you know the average office building has 30 cubicles in one room?

~Floor 30~

I can't feel my legs and my heels are killing me!

~Floor 40~

Hahahahah what do you know only 40 floors. I stood at the top of the stairs and looked down at them in triumph.

"You know I should have mentioned this on Floor 15 but you know we could have just flown from the 1st floor up to the 40th floor. It would have been much easier." Edward gasped and collapsed on the floor. I smacked my hand to my forehead. Of course! Why didn't I think of that?


	12. Frenamies?

A/N

Well you all probably hate me now I mean I just left you all hanging with a great cliff hanger and then I had to go and get such bad grades that my father took away my laptop. And all Internet privileges. Aren't I just awesome? Well that all aside, oh look a new chapter! Hope you guys will forgive me! I don't plan on getting grounded anytime soon sooo yea! Enjoy!

-Slinky762

Ok we could have just flown up, but that would have been the easy way. And that's just not how I roll, I have to go the hard way. After we all finished hacking and wheezing for air we had a good look around.

"Wow, she has…" Jacob started.

"No taste at all." Jasper finished.

"Ok guys lets find those baseball players and get out of here." I sighed. " I knew it was the most horrible idea to go there ugh."

I know I was starting to be the party pooper, but hey when you find yourself running away from and evil fat chick most of your days you wouldn't be smiling sunshine and Mrs. Daisy either. And this room full of doilies and kitten pictures didn't make life any better. I pushed open a few doors to find a closet, a bathroom, and a storage room full of "objects" I am not ready to discuss.

"Wow how do you suppose you use this?" Jasper said picking up an "object".

"Oh for the love of god, put it down." Edward said smacking Jasper upside the head. He dropped the "object" and it rolled to an open window where a pigeon came and took it away.

"That's gonna be one happy pigeon." Jacob snickered, trying desperately hard to conceal his laughter. Oh how I can imagine.

"Focus guys!" I shouted as I made my way to the last door in the room. I slowly pushed it open slowly to find the baseball players from both teams tied up in their… underwear. Well Bertha has issues. A LOT of issues.

"Our savior!" One man shouted. They all were each tied with their back to a pillar, about 5 in that room. At the sight if me and my merry men the athletes started to struggle against the rope binding them to the pillar.

"Shhh!" Jacob shushed them as he began to untie their bondage.

"I'm going to find Bertha." Edward said taking a deep breath.

"Wait, wait what?" I gaped at his sudden thought, but before I could say anything more he made his way into the room connecting to the one we were already in. With great effort he slammed the doors followed by a heart sinking click of the lock.

"Edward! Edward!" I began yelling and banging on the door, but to no avail.

~Inside~

"So Bertha, I'm guessing that this is your version of a calling card." Edward said walking casually around the open room. No furniture got in his way, since there wasn't any.

"Well I'm glad you caught on." Bertha said with an amazingly feminine voice.

"So why, what is it?" Edward practically snarled at Bertha.

"You know what Dr. Grant is doing so why are you going along with everything?" Edward let out a soft sigh.

"Because we are going to stop him eventually. And I want to get revenge and tell him thank you." Edward smirked at the look Dr. Grant would give him for saying such a thing.

"Are you mad boy?" Bertha shouted.

" I want to get revenge for him turning me and my friends into such freaks, but aside from that I want to thank him for leading me to the love of my life." Edward whispered letting a soft expression cross his face.

"Only you could talk about revenge and love in one sentence." Bertha sighed and shook her head causing the fat around her neck to jiggle. "Are you sure she loves you?"

"Yes, though she hasn't said anything about it since we left Tittywaken." Edward grimaced and scratched his head.

"Face it she's just not that into you." Bertha sniggered.

"Great I'm talking about my love life with my enemy." Edward sighed smacking his head with his hand. " Tell Dr. Grant that he doesn't need to keep tabs on us. We are coming for him and we are ready for anything he throws at us."

"Well he won't take kindly to you knowing this but I will tell him." Bertha said nodding to Edward and turning to the window. "Farewell Edward give Jasper a kiss for me." And with that she jumped out the window air gliding into the sunset. Surprisingly she didn't drop like a rock. Must be some optical illusion.

~Back to Bella~

After a while Edward came back after Jasper and Jacob went to go give the baseball players back.

"Did you find her?" I said, looking him over for injuries.

"No she wasn't there." He said looking grim.

"Don't lie to me boy." I said pointing a finger at him.

"Really I didn't."

"Bullshit!"

"Hey Bella." Edward whispered after a pause.

"Yea." I said searching his face for a clue as to what he was thinking.

"Do you …love me?" I could see the fear in his expression like he was thinking I would say no.

"Edward I…" I began. But I stopped and changed my mind. "Edward I love you so much that if I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to say I love you." Damn I'm good. I'm really good. A tear came to my eyes as I said this. Even I moved myself.

"Thank you." He said as he leaned in and pressed his lips ever so delicately to mine. Oh my aren't I supposed to be overcome by the urge to run away and leave him here wondering if I meant I love him, and then I see a lot of pages full of sexual tension. Nope don't think so. Our kisses started out hungry and then died away into playful pecks on each others lips. Edward then proceeded to pick me up and lay me on one of the office desks that was strategically placed in the room. He was about to reach for my shirt when a thought came to him and he just laid down over me on the desk.

"Are we interrupting something?" Jasper said looking at our position on the table.

"Uhhh no." Edward said jumping off the desk.

"Well I think we should get going." Jacob said looking like he was about to walk over and throw Edward out the window.

"Agreed." We all said in unison. Evidentially Jasper and Jacob went and got all our stuff, which isn't much. As soon as we were done gearing up we all lined up by the windows.

"Ok the plan is to jump out the windows and fly towards California across the US it will take some time but we will get there."

"Or we could just buy plane tickets." Jasper said. "We still have about $5,000 left from the Dali lama fund. Oh shit, I forgot I was supposed to be the Dali lama."

"No worries Jasper I'm sure they will find another one." Jacob said sighing and giving Edward yet again another round of daggers.

"You want to buy plane tickets? And you call yourself a mutant bird kid!" I said kicking a hole in the window and jumping out into the night air. I unfurled my wings and made a hard down stroke. I thought I would never say this but flying isn't all that bad. This was actually beautiful and …

"Hey look there's people down there! Lets drop something on them!"

Wow moment totally ruined.


	13. Sista Slipsta

I stifled a yawn as we flew over Iowa. We had been flying for about 7 hours including I don't know how many breaks for Jasper and I wasn't sure Jasper wouldn't be able to hold his bladder after this trip.

"Bella…Bladder…Small…Pain." Jasper managed to squeak out.

"Ok pit stop! Again!" I yelled to the group, which was short one member since Jacob can't fly. We told him to meet us in OakMist Iowa. We told him good luck with the hitchhiking. What why are you looking at me like that? He will be fine on his own, he's a big kid now. And you really didn't expect one of us to carry him. It would have been like Jasper's bladder issue, but worse.

"We're going in boys! PEW, PEW, PEW!" Jasper giggled. That boy could still make the effort to act like a child while desperately having to pee.

How he does it the world will find out when this is all over and he writes a book about us, if he can ever figure out a computer, much less Microsoft Word. "Umm guys we have someone here to see us." Jasper said as we got closer to the ground.

"What are you talking about?" I said looking at the ground and spotting the old lady from Tittywaken standing on the ground, and yes she still had that mad cat with her. As we all circled to the ground and landed, she walked up to us smiling happily.

"Hello Brothers." She said looking Edward and Jasper up and down.

"Hello Alice." They responded. My eyes began slowly bulging from my head at this.

"What? Ok someone needs to start explaining quick before I start shitting kittens." I said looking from face to face. Tittywaken lady then snapped her fingers made a nice cursive AC in the air and magically turned into that sneaky little chick I had met before. Alice.

"YOU!" I shouted spastically pointing at her.

"Hey honey." Jasper smiled and went over to Alice, giving her a peck on the lips.

"B-but, but, but." I swear if I could have detached my jaw I would have chucked it at them and it come back to me like a boomerang. It's all coming back to you.

"Well Alice is our sister by documentation. Our parents were into the whole adopt a shit load of kids thing, but her and Jasper liked each other before then and are kind of GF BF at this point. She is a whole 5 steps up from Bertha if you ask me." Edward informed me. Great at this point I was the only person here who was out of the loop. Not counting Jacob, he was never in the loop.

"So babe why are you here, uh revealing yourself to us?" Jasper said smiling at Alice. All of a sudden he's Mr. Cool.

"I want to join your little party." Alice said smiling at all of us happily. Aro, who was still a cat to stay warm I mean hey it's cold here, started hacking up a hairball breaking the silence.

"Uh why?" Edward said giving her a quizzical look.

"Because you guys are moving way too slow and truthfully you guys don't look like much of a world saving group if you know what I mean." Alice said looking at her feet.

"Because of the lack of Spandex I'm guessing." I said folding my arms raising an eyebrow.

"You totally just pictured my butt in Spandex right now didn't you?" Jasper said looking at Alice doing the wave with his eyebrows. "I know you totally did because I just read your mind." Alice giggled in response to this.

"Oh god I think I'm going to barf." I said covering my mouth with both of my hands.

"Ok, ok lets get this show on the road, we need to go find Jacob. Anybody have an idea where we are?" Edward said, taking charge as usual. So sexy…. You didn't hear that.

Alice licked her finger and put it to the wind. "We are in Articgrove 30 miles south of OakMist and 100 miles west of the Iowa-Nebraska border."

We all looked at her like she had just stuck a feather in a hat and pulled out a bowl of macaroni. " I am an excellent tracker." She said smiling as we continued to look bug-eyed at her.

"Chill guys I read it on a sign over there." She said pointing to a sign behind me.

"Not cool Dave." Jasper sulked.

"Who's Dave?" Alice said cocking her head to the side. "Oh well, let's go guys! Come along Aro." And with that Aro and Me and Edward trudged after Alice as she skipped and hopped down the road.

~Jacob POV~

As I walked down the streets of OakMist I started to wonder what was going through Bella's head when she picked this place to meet at. Dudes in Mohawks with piercings out the wazoo passed me as I walked by Wal-Mart. When I walked by Starbucks there were ladies in tutus and were wearing hoop earrings small wiener dogs could jump through.

This was nothing like Tittywaken. When I walked by an alleyway someone grabbed me from behind and drug me in. No one even batted an eyelash at this. They threw me up against a wall and held a knife to my throat.

"Give us all your money, bitch." A dude in piercings barked out at me. Behind him his friends stood snickering at me. Well I knew how this was going to go. I extended out my claws as I held them behind my back.

"What you got there in your hands." The holey dude said.

"One hand has money in it. Which one." I said letting a smile cross my face.

"The left hand." He said pressing the knife a little deeper to my neck.

"Wrong." I took out both hands and clenched them in fists at my sides.

"What the-."

-SLICE-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

~Bella POV~

We walked and walked and oh yea guess what! We walked some more. But finally we made it to the place where we were to meet Jacob.

"Where the hell is he?" Edward said scratching his head. Just as he said that a random dude walked up to us, looking us up and down.

"Uh are you Bella, Edward, and Jasper?" The dude said timidly.

"Uh yea. Do I want to be?" Jasper said looking around for the mafia to jump out and pummel us right there.

"Your friend Jacob is in the hospital, he was jumped by some dudes and they pulled a knife on him. The paramedics told me to stay here to tell you that. You'll find him in the Volturi's State Hospital, room 151." And with that he turned and walked into the shadows disappearing for evers. Creepy.

"Oh my God Jacob!"

**A/N**

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING dear readers. This chapter may be short but hey it's during the week enjoy it! **

**-Slinky762**


	14. The Dorks of Christmas Eve

Bella POV (still)

It was about 5:00 in the afternoon and the only people in the hospital were me, Jasper, Edward, and Alice. We walked down corridor after corridor and still couldn't find a lobby, receptionist, or the civilization from which we came. The only thing any of us noticed was the unusual population of Christmas trees dotting the hallways.

"Did I miss the memo that it's Christmas already?" My mind was blown really. Have we been on the run that long?

"Why yes it is," Alice said in a chipper voice, " When you guys were in Tittywaken it had been 2 weeks after Thanksgiving. The hotel staff can throw a mean Thanksgiving party."

"We should get each other gifts!" Jasper piped up as we walked down yet another barren corridor, despite the Christmas trees.

"Actually that would be a good idea." I said amazed at the smartness Jasper was showing considering its Jasper we're talking about here.

"Why not Bella it would be so much fun." Jasper whined.

"Yea I like the idea too." Edward pleaded.

"Yea Bella." Alice said giving me Bambi eyes.

"Wait did you just say yes?" They all said in unison.

"Why is that so hard to believe?" This better be good.

"Well your middle name is killjoy and you have party pooper tattooed on your forehead." Jasper said hiding behind Edward in fear, as Alice grabbed a pair of binoculars and pointed them to the sky.

"What are you doing." I said placing my hands on my hips.

"After you saying that I'm sure that a heard of pigs is taking off in flight somewhere." How did Alice know anything about me or my personality?

"She was following us since Tittywaken and trust me it would take that long for any one to realize how-." Thank God for a door that suddenly swings open. A concerned looking doctor stood over Jasper cringing.

"Is he gonna be ok?" The doctor said kicking the unconscious Jasper on the floor.

"Oh he will be fine. He's Jasper after all." A voice said from inside the room. We all peaked our heads inside to see. And who of all people would we find ok and unscathed sitting up in a hospital bed but the one and only Jacob! "Hey guys." He said with a glowing smile.

"But how?" I said rushing over and giving him a hug.

"Well when the guys pulled a knife on me I kinda, maybe scratched one of their eyes out." Jacob said shuddering at the thought.

"Then why are you here?" Alice said looking Jacob up and down.

"I'm sorry but who is this crazy chick, and why is she here?" Wow I never thought she was crazy. And Jacob did have a fair point. What was she doing here?

" Oh I'm sorry I need to introduce myself. I'm Alice Jasper's Sister and Girlfriend." She said standing in front of Jacob with a smile plastered on her face, as Aro climbed out of her pocket, in the form of a lizard, where he had been hiding for a while now. "Oh and this is Aro." She said pointing at him and he hissed at Jacob turned around and went back into her pocket.

Well Jacob just sat there staring at her. "Well welcome to our F*** up group Alice. I'm Jacob." He said just warming up to her like she was one of his long lost best friends.

"Oh yea Jacob as we were talking about before, why are you in a hospital with no injuries on you?" Edward said glaring intensely at Jacob.

"Well I seemed to have fainted from the sight of the blood and a strangers eye rolling around on the ground. I need to stay here one more day for observation. They seem to think I am in shock." Just as Jacob finished filling us in his doctor came back in the room to monitor him.

"Well folks all I'm gonna do is a few tests and then I'll get out of your hair." He said walking over to Jacob as we all stood watching intently.

"Now Jacob," The doctor said calmly, " I want you to picture an eyeball for me. Can you do that?"

"Sure." Jacob said, pausing for a few seconds, "I…uh…oh boy." He said falling backwards and hitting his head on the headboard of the bed, knocking himself out cold.

"Hmm well come back tomorrow at noon and you can have him back!" The doctor said cheerfully and walked out the door.

"But it's gonna be Christmas tomorrow isn't it?" I shouted after him.

"Oh yea," He said stopping in the hallway, "Well I hope this doesn't interfear with your holiday plans."

"Oh no we don't have any." Edward said looking quizzically at the doctor.

"Ok good see you tomorrow." He smiled and trotted off down the hall in the direction of some rather horrible screaming and swearing.

"Bells what was the Christmas question about?" Edward said as he knocked on my head to see if my brain was still there.

"I could have sworn that this place would be closed tomorrow, most hospitals would be." Is this place creepy or what.

"Well it looks empty weather its open or not, if you wanna come with, me and Alice and Jasper are gonna go get something to eat." Edward said walking off down the hallway with his band of merry men- I mean people following happily.

I don't know why but I felt like walking around the hospital checking out all the patients. And for some odd reason I was drawn to one room in particular. My legs went on auto pilot as I walked into room 777 (Big hospital huh?). I kept walking right up to the bed and stopped to see a little girl about 8 years old sitting up and looking with wondering blue eyes and bouncy blonde curls.

"Hello." She said politely and smiled a warm smile in my direction. "Whats your name?"

"M-my names Bella." I stuttered, surprised at how grown up she acted.

"That's a lovely name. My names Elizabeth, but most people called me Liz." Something wasn't right here.

"Was?" I said sitting down in a chair next to the bed. She blushed and nodded.

"You listen better then the other people who ask me these questions." She said pointing at a nurse.

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm not a nurse, you see I was sort of "drawn" to this room for some reason. I just came in and here you are." I said making a lot of hand gestures.

"It's ok. It's nice to have someone to talk to. It gets lonely here since a month ago." She said looking down. I followed her gaze to realize she wasn't wearing the hospital gown all the other patients were. "You see my mom is in this hospital, right now she's getting a cat scan for the doctor people to take a look at her cancer. Last month my mom got admitted here and I stayed with her the whole time cuz I had a small form of cancer too. I got rid of the type I had but mommy never got better, just worse." A tear formed at the corners of her eyes and she took a deep breath. " Mommy has until-."

"Bella there you are!" Edward said as he walked into the room. "We got to go Bells come on." He said as he dragged me off my feet and out the room.

"Bye Liz! I'll come by tomorrow and talk with you ok?" I said just as Jasper and Alice joined us and began helping Edward drag me too. Once we got to the hotel they all dropped me and turned to face me.

"Ok here's the deal Bells, we all bought gifts for each other except for you. Here's the last of the money do good kid. You got two hours." Alice said handing me a twenty and three ones and shoved me down the side walk.

I had no idea what anyone wanted so since I was just kicked out of a nice cozy hotel room I figured they wouldn't let me back in until I had something good. I knew one person who would know what they wanted! Jacob. So I walked back down the sidewalk in the direction of the hospital.

Once I got back to the hospital I had to walk by Liz's mom's room to get to Jacob's. So I figured I'd talk to her some more. But when I passed her door, it was closed and two nurses were talking just outside the door.

"Did you hear about her mother?"

"Yes isn't it tragic? Poor dear. All she gets for Christmas this year is her mother dying. Who would have thought it would land on Christmas? The doctor said it would be a few more hours before she passes, around 5:00pm."

"Yea so I've heard, and she wants to get her mother some shoes for Christmas. Poor dear she probably has no idea her mother is dying. How does her father keep her at bay about it?"

"I don't know that's just tragic. Glad it's not me."

"Yea me too."

Right then, my heart broke. Who were these nurses to say such things?

"Hey Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, that girl is well aware that her mother is dying! But I guess you bitches wouldn't see someone else's pain if it bit you in your oversized Me complex!" I shouted at them with enough anger to start the World Wars over again, and then stomped off outside to go shopping. Why is it when us women are upset we shop? I stormed off downtown and all the people jumped out of my way like a stampede was tearing down the sidewalk.

By the time my anger subsided I was stopped in front of a store front window. I looked up to see a beautiful pair of shoes. They were baby blue with a gold trim. Not too much just enough to make them look like they were fit for royalty. I looked at the money in my hand, then the price tag on the shoes.

Without a second thought I went in the store and bought the shoes and began a sprint down the sidewalk the way I had come. One sentence came to mind, something one of the bitchy nurses said.

"_The doctor said it would be a few more hours before she passes, around 5:00pm."_

I looked at a clock I passed in the shopping town center. 4:20 pm. I wasn't gonna make it running. I ran down an empty alley way and snapped open my wings. The rush of air was invigorating, causing me to go faster. I got to the hospital in record time, it was only 4:45pm. I ran up to Liz's mom's room and shoved my way past the gossiping nurses hitting their heads with my wings in the process and into the room.

The most beautiful scene opened up in front of me. Liz was on the floor next to her mother's bed holding her hand and crying as her mothers eyes barely stayed open. Liz's head tilted up to see me.

"Bella." She said in tears.

"I have something for you." I said gently giving her the shopping bag. Her sad eyes fell on what was inside and immediately brightened on contact with the shoes.

"Mommy, Mommy look I got the shoes for you." Liz's eyes over flowed with tears as her mother smiled a faint smile and patted her on the head. Liz moved to put the shoes on her mother's feet.

"Liz why did you want these shoes?" I asked genuinely curious.

"I wanted Mommy to look beautiful for when she meets Jesus tonight." She said smiling at me and rushing over to give me a hug. "Thank you Bella!" She squealed and finally realized I had wings. "Bella you have angel wings! You must be my Mommy's guardian angel!" She shouted jumping up and down.

I laughed and then smiled. I did have angel wings. Beautiful white angel wings. As I finished smiling so wide my face might break I noticed Liz's mom motioning for me to come closer.

"Thank you Bella. I am lucky to have an angel as kind as you to see me to the next life." She said looking fondly at me.

"But I'm not-." I began.

"No Bella, you are. Those wings are a gift, love them while you have them." She smiled and laid back down. The clock struck on the next hour as Liz fell asleep in her mother's arms, happy.

After Liz's dad came to get her he smiled at me as I walked out. So did everyone I passed in the lobby and on the sidewalk. I had the gift of angel wings and everyone thought so too. Why did it take until now for me to realize this? I put my hands in my pockets and continued my walk. I stopped and pulled out my hands when I realized something was in my pocket. It was a folded up piece of paper.

I unfolded it to find a note in scribbled handwriting.

Dear Bella,

Thank you so much! Now Mommy looks beautiful for when she goes to heaven. I will always remember your kindness. Here's a way to remember me!

-Liz

A necklace slid out of the paper into my hand. It was a little silver lizard attached to a thin silver chain. I put it on and marched proudly to the hotel room with my wings out stretched wide. When Edward opened the door I jumped him and kissed him.

"What made you so happy? Did you do something?" He said scratching his head.

"Oh yea I did good, better than anything I could ever imagine." I said smiling before Jasper tackled me to the ground.

"What did ya get me, what did ya get me!"

Well there goes my good deeds, I'm gonna kill Jasper now.

**A/N**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS READERS! OR HAPPY HANUKAH! OR IF YOU'RE ATHIEST HAVE A GOOD DAY! See ya'll next week and may your lives be filled with joy **

**-Slinky762 **


	15. Taking Care of Business

My eyes blinked open and I sat up rubbing my head looking at the object I was just sleeping on. Edward. Go figure. I turned my head to the beautiful Nebraska-Colorado border just a few miles from where my gang and I had set up camp for the night on top of this nice little hill.

Strange how with just a rope and some duck tape you could get a few bird kids to carry a 190 pound human over a state in only 7 hours. Don't worry Jacob weighs a lot because of all his * Gulp * rippling muscles. I stretched and looked over at all of my friends sleeping so silently nearby, except for Jacob wiggling around on the ground.

"Huh?" I said out loud. Hadn't we untied Jacob when we got here. I fumbled over to Jacob and ripped off a piece of duck tape over his mouth. "Wow Jacob you must have some weird fetishes to be tying yourself up with rope and duck tape." I said untying the rope binding his hands.

"It was Edward! He woke up in the middle of the night to find me sleeping next to you and he tied me up and drug me over here." Jacob said out of breath from struggling against the rope. I looked carefully at it and realized it was double knotted and wrapped around him like 7 times.

"Uhhh why were you sleeping next to me again?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"Never mind." Jacob said turning away from me. "What do you say we go find breakfast?"

_Yea that's as good of an idea as if we were to play strip poker again. _I thought crossing my arms over my chest following Jacob into the forest. _That was sooo sexy playing strip poker and… No, no! Bad Bella! You love Edward._ The more I thought about strip poker the more my resolve crumbled.

"Over here!" Jacob yelled as we stopped at the base of a tree looking around it carefully. My gaze followed Jacob's index finger to a deer standing in the clearing in front of us.

"On no this is where I draw the line!" I whisper yelled to Jacob. "There is no way in hell I'm gonna kill Bambi!"

"Don't worry I'm gonna do it." Jacob said steadying himself to pounce, extending his Wolverine like claws and wiggling his butt slightly.

"Yea I bet that makes Bambi feel sooo much better." I said just as Jacob sprang up about to race after Bambi.

"No!" I yelled and grabbed his pants in an attempt to stop him. Close but no banana. His blue jeans came crashing down and he fell face first into the ground, as Bambi trotted off to safety. Score one for Bella! Jacob turned towards me and grabbed my shoulders.

"What was that for! Why is it every time you try to stop someone you pull their friggin' pants dow…" Jacob said losing volume as he stared into my eyes. His stare was so… I don't know but he wouldn't look away. Slowly he started leaning his head closer and closer until our lips were touching slightly.

"Hey I there you are and Bella Jacob is thinking…" Jasper said leading Alice in our direction and stopping short when he saw our predicament. " Dirty thoughts." He finished lamely. _Oh shit._

"This is not what it looks like I swear!" I yelled pushing Jacob back. I pushed him a little too hard apparently, and he went tumbling backwards down the hill pants and all.

~Edward POV~

A little while after Bella left with "the man who I despise so much I gave him this freakishly long name so I wouldn't have to say his real name" to go find breakfast, I flew into a little town behind our camp some ways. I Walked into a quaint little diner down the road a ways and sat at a back table. A few minutes later a rather large girl walked in and joined me.

"Hello again Edward." Bertha said sitting across from me, making her chair squeak a little. Ok I'm being modest A LOT.

"So did you bring what I asked for." I said cutting to the chase.

"Lucky for you Dr. Grant actually developed such a potion. He was going to use it on you back in the lab when he had the chance. Something about different animal traits would suit you." Bertha said pulling a vile of pink liquid with a stopper out of her pocket and setting it on the table rolling it back in forth in front of me. Teasing me with it. " Now did you bring what I asked for in return?" Bertha said looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"Yup. A picture of Jasper sleeping." I said sliding the picture across the table. Did you know that there is a whole underground operation of fangirl photo trading? Works wonders those things.

"You know I risked my life for this little vile. And it's also to keep the girl you love safe…" Bertha trailed off. I sighed and pushed another photo across the table. "Yay!" Bertha giggled and grabbed the photo's examining their quality. Slowly she pushed the vile over towards me. "Mind telling me what it's for?" She said absentmindedly stroking her newly acquired booty.

"I didn't realize how dangerous this whole saving the world thing was going to be. I mean Bella never said that Dr. Grant actually killed his own son, and then you told me that he attempted to kill someone else recently. I don't want to take any chances, he wont need her if she doesn't have wings." I said sighing frequently. Little did my friends and love know, I had been frequently updated on Dr. Grant by Bertha.

"But you already know how everything is going to turn out right? So why are you worried about Dr. Grant when you know what the real problem is going to be?" Bertha said truly interested in my story now.

"I don't know. Even though I've seen it I'm still worried the future can change." I started rubbing my temples.

"I just hope you know what your doing." Bertha said almost to the point of genuine care as she stood up and left without another word.

"I hope I know what I'm doing too." I said to myself twisting the pink vile in-between my index finger and thumb as I walked outside and thrust my wings out for takeoff.

~Bella POV~

After we retrieved Jacob from the bottom of the hill we all made our way back to our campsite to find Edward making breakfast, thank God it was eggs.

"Hey guys!" Edward said smiling as we approached.

"Good," I said sitting down next to him. "At least someone here knows how to cook and NOT KILL BAMBI." I said glaring at Jacob.

"Well excuse me if I didn't want to starve. I need my meat woman!" Jacob said sitting with his back to me. Alice and Jasper trotted up after us and sat too. We all ate our breakfast with a lot of how dare us birds eat eggs and yadda, yadda. At about 10:00 am we left for Colorado's adorable town of Colorado Springs. After about 3 or 4 hours we made it without falling out of the sky from all the weight we were carrying.

As soon as we got to Colorado Springs it was time to eat. Bird eggs aren't that appetizing when you're thinking of Mickey D's.

"You know I don't get the whole Alice in Wonderland thing. I mean what was Disney on? Who could think of all that random stuff like talking flowers?" And the conversation ensued. Everything was going great, but that's how it is before your life takes a turn for the worst huh?

A/N

Horrible chappie sorry

-Slinky762


	16. Bipolar Bella

BPOV

As our conversation about the chances of Disney being on crack ensued Edward began to look more worried by the minute. Whats eating him? I put my burger down and motioned for Alice to follow me to the bath room.

"OH great the woman pack leads the way to the rest room once more." Jasper sighed letting go of Alice's hand and she trotted after me to the bathroom.

"I think something's up with Edward, he looks… I don't know worried that something's going to happen that he can't stop or something." I whispered as Alice leaned against the sinks. She paused and bit her lip in thought.

"Maybe it's nothing." She said a little too quickly for my liking.

"Ok what's up. You know something and I'm going to find out Alice." I said giving her a warning look.

"It' doesn't matter. You can't do anything about it now." She said in a low whisper. "No one can." And she walked out not looking back. Now what in the world was that about? Someone knows something and doesn't have the decency to bring me into the loop. I stomped out of the bathroom and rejoined my friends/traitors. As I sat down Edward looked more frantic than he did before I left. I shrugged it off and told myself I would ask him when we left. I had one bite if my hamburger left so I shoved it in my mouth and jumped up from the table.

"Ok guys, let's go." I made a move to get up from the table, but now it was hard to stand on my feet. I wobbled a little and Edward caught me motioning for Jasper to get my legs.

"Keep your wings folded in Bella." Jasper said in a pissed off fashion. "I keep stepping on them." I just noticed that even though he was I felt no pain. None at all.

They drug me outside and into the forest near the Mc Donald's and laid me down. I just noticed the sky was getting dark and a storm was moving in. Everyone set up camp as I laid in the dirt unable to move. After everyone settled down Edward drug me over to a small cave entrance protruding from some rocks nearby.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear as he laid me down once more. Even though the cold from the floor of the cave was seeping through my clothes, I began to drift to sleep when Edward spoke again. "I love you, Bella. Don't forget I always have."

I was about to respond to this with an 'I love you too' speech. But the words were lost in my throat as my eyelids dropped and the world became pitch black.

By morning the storm had passed and I woke up to find I was alone in the cave. No Edward. No Alice or Jasper. Not even Jacob. I wobbled to my feet and walked slowly to the mouth of the cave.

Even outside the cave, there were no signs of my friends. After accepting the fact they left me I went to open my wings and fly off to find them, when my feet wouldn't leave the ground. At all. Confused by this I walked over to a puddle of water occupying the place where I assume the fire from last night was. I looked in it tensely and tried to extend my wings again. Nothing. I turned my back to the puddle and looked in it again. The only thing left on my back was two slits in my shirt where my wings would be.

"No." I said simply as my voice slowly went up in volume. "Noo!" My wings. Gone. This must be a dream. MUST be. The wings I had learned to love, the very things that kept me close to the one I love. Gone.

I went over to a tree and punched it with all my frustration pint up inside. I heard the thunk of my hand hitting the tree and then the ear splitting sound of the bones breaking in my hand.

"AAAUUUGHHHH!" I yelled dropping to my knees cradling my right fist in my left. Tears began to cascade down my face, turning the dirt under me into mud. Knowing that this was in fact not a dream, I turned to the sky and yelled.

"I know your there guys. Come out and face what you did. COME OUT NOW." I yelled as my voice bounced around the empty space consuming me. I heard wings flutter and the thud of feet on the ground behind me.

" Bella, they left. Edward, Jacob, and Alice all just left while we were sleeping." Jasper said trying to calm me down. I turned and glared at him, tears stinging my eyes.

"I can't believe that they would do something like this to me." I cried, new tears staining my cheeks. " Well then Jacob, where could they have gone. WHERE!" I yelled.

"Bella I don't think they wanted us to come with them. Or they would have told us where they were going." Jasper whispered rubbing the spot on my back between my shoulder blades. Why would Edward do this to me? Of all the ways to say 'I don't love you anymore' this must be the worst.

"_I love you, Bella. Don't forget I always have."_

Edward, you may have given up on me for what I can see as no reason at all, but I'm not giving up. Not on him, not on saving the world from a mad scientist. He can push me away but there's no way I'm gonna give up. I looked up to Jasper and smiled through my tears.

"You think you can carry me?" I said still smiling.

"Ok I'm done being all caring like. It's exhausting. And also I've been meaning to tell you, you're defiantly bipolar." Jasper said folding his arms in front of him.

Edward POV

I landed roughly on the sand and tucked in my wings pressing up against the side of a building. I turned and motioned for Jacob and Alice to follow me. To take good measures I had Alice send Aro away to not draw attention to us. He couldn't stop sneezing. Alice clambered over and smacked onto the wall next to me.

"You know Bella's gonna be pissed. She's not going to give up on you or the world that easy. You probably just poured gasoline on a fire." Alice whispered in my ear.

"I know, but it was worth a shot." I said as Jacob followed after Alice.

"Worth what?" He said squatting down to avoid being seen.

"Nothing." I said quickly. He doesn't need to know. It would only make it that much harder. I turned around and looked around the building we were hiding behind. In the distance was the most threatening building I will ever see. California's Academy of Science.

**A/N **

**Wow where to begin? Homework, Sucks. Water polo, exhausting. School, boring as hell. Hanging with friends, not much time to do. Writing chapters, nearly impossible. That pretty much sums it all up. What a month, I haven't even touched my word document let alone my lap top. Yikes, tiring. Well It's spring break so maybe I can get a chapter or two in. Until next time. **

**-Slinky762**


	17. Tick Tock

Bella POV

Wind definitely doesn't do well for already messy hair. I got up from the park bench I was currently sitting on while Jasper dry heaved next to me. He said he could carry me. Liar.

"I'm (gasp) ok. Just (gasp) give me (gasp) a few (gasp) minutes. This is all (hack) (wheeze) part of the plan." He panted collapsing back on the ground as pigeons pecked at his head. I sighed as I fiddled with the bandage on my hand. In quick thinking I busted it up punching a tree out of rage. Now I can see how having the use of both hands would have been helpful right about now.

"I'm gonna take a walk." I sighed standing and trudging away. Thinking about my hand brought on a new hate filled rage for Edward. My beautiful wings that I now loved were gone. They became a part of me and he took them away. The ducks swimming in the pond below me on this bridge. I hopped up and stood on the hand railing looking out over the park.

People. Normal people walking around a normal park living their normal lives. Not knowing the world could be changed drastically in a course of a few days now. And because of Edward I didn't have the power to help stop it. I should be glad that it's not up to me right? Wrong.

In my musings I seemed to have missed two very suspicious looking people walk up behind me on the bridge.

"They are already trying to break into the lab sir." A large girl in all black whispered to a man with a Tom Selleck beard and a red Hawaiian shirt.

"Good is the Avitrax ready?" The Tom Selleck look-alike said not bothering to whisper. A little sure of himself, no?

"Yes and it hasn't been feed in two days. It's extremely hungry and won't eat but the best breed of birds. I think bird kid will be a great addition to the menu." The fat girl laughed, her neck fat jiggling like a vat of jello.

"What about the boy with the claws. What are we to do about him?" Magnum P. Ewww smirked as he took out a pocket watch examining it with boredom.

"He will be taken care of easily. He is not as strong as the bird kids." The girl said looking just as bored.

"Good I might not have to get my hands dirty this time." The man said putting his watch away and dusting off his shirt. "Excuse me miss." I heard the man say behind me. I turned around hiding the look of shock on my face. Maybe he doesn't recognize me.

"Yes mister?" I said looking down avoiding all eye contact.

"Do you happen to have the time. My watch seems to be broken."

"Oh w-well I don't have a watch. S-s-sorry." I said walking away quickly.

"Well it would be nice if you did have the time. Then maybe you would be able to see that your friends are running out of time. You should go back to- what was his name now? Oh yes. Jasper. I am sure the dry heaving has stopped by now." I could hear the amusement in his voice. I turned back around to face him, but he was gone. Only one thing registered after that. Jasper. I ran across the park searching every bench in sight until I spotted the one Jasper was getting sick by just a few minutes ago.

"Jasper!" I yelled my voice growing with fear. That feeling that I had the first time I woke up in my cell was creeping back with a vengeance. Loneliness. "JASPER!"

Edward POV

Walls, potted plants, blank pictures with unknown landscapes all a blur past us as we moved through the maze that was the California Institute of Science. Door after door containing nothing but cages and tools of tourcher and medicine.

"Ok guys, quietly now. We don't want them to know were here." I said in a hushed tone.

"Well what makes you think they don't know we are already here?" Jacob said checking and re-checking doors and hallways for signs of life.

" Someone does know were here." Alice said closing her eyes in thought.

"Who Alice, who?" I said panic setting in.

"Dr. Grant the source of all evil." Alice whispered in a monotone voice.

"Why didn't you tell us before." Jacob said his face growing red as he clenched his teeth to keep from yelling.

"All is playing out like it should." Alice whispered and opened her eyes thoughtfully. "Though you should know-." She began before a scream erupted from her throat as Bertha bounded up behind her and grabbed her at the neck.

"Bertha no!" I yelled as she took a second to look at me thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry Edward. You know I can't help you now." She said and threw Alice over her shoulder as Alice passed out from the lack of oxygen. I ran at her ready to fight when she opened a door and disappeared through it.

"Well don't just stand there staring at the door, let's go!" Jacob said already running through the door and disappearing in the darkness.

"It's time." I said stepping through the door to my fate that lay before me.

**A/N**

**Well there is not much to say about my lack in chapters, but rest assured I will be typing away all summer long. Just wait as soon as school is out the chapters will be racking up. Sorry about the wait guys hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**-Slinky762**


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